Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Impairy Web Site

 Happy Easter!!! How are you? I've created a web site for my online story series "The Impairy Story" . I'll post new chapters there. Click: . If you haven't read the prologue or part 1, you can there.

P.S. The prologue is the second post on the impairy web site so please scroll down first there before you read part 1 if you haven't read the prologue.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Heart of Ice


 Heart of Ice 

 Here comes the princess with the heart of ice. Princess Pepper has everyone fooled except for Prince Andrew and me. She acts like she cares about her kingdom, acts like a bleeding heart that would sacrifice for her subjects but she’s a vain, melodramatic, cruel, spoiled brat! Her father King Edward does anything to please her because she reminds him of her mother who died during childbirth. People die if Princess Pepper sheds just one tear or something doesn’t go her way, she laughs at the poor, starved, and unloved, and she squanders away the kingdom’s riches for her gold and magnificent dresses. She masks her malice with her incredible beauty, her brown eyes looking quite innocent, her golden hair shining in the sunlight and her marvelous clothing being so blinding but I can see straight through her.

My name is Violet and I’m her maid. I wear dresses of rags and my black unkempt hair is always up in a messy bun. I was born crippled and I’m in a wheelchair. When I was twelve, my family of ten children couldn’t afford to take care of me anymore. My mother and father gave me to the royal family as “help” when Princess Pepper was thirteen. Even then, she put on a show and told the king and my family that she would “adopt me” as her sister. They all cooed at her so-called sweet, selfless words. My parents even got it in their minds that I was going to be a lady-in-waiting someday but as soon as they all were gone, she slapped me and sneered, saying, “You’re such a pathetic and ugly thing!” I’ve been subjected to her royal nastiness ever since then, for nine years. She haven’t broken my spirit though and never will.

She works me as a slave, commanding to do tasks that I can barely do and if I make a mistake, she smacks me until I’m bleeding profusely. I loath this wicked princess but no one would believe me if I told. I would just be hung. Besides, enduring her abuse makes me stronger than her. Adding to my disgust for her, she is now having a prince forced to marry her. Prince Andrew’s father and King Edward have signed a treaty recently. The kingdoms have battling for many years and both kings thought that if their children joined in marriage that it was easier for the kingdoms to come together as one.

Prince Andrew is the kindest man that I ever met but yet Princess Pepper always has other suitors behind his back. He tried to end the engagement once but when he told the king that he was leaving due to the princess‘ behavior, she cried out, “Daddy, Daddy, make him stay! I can’t live without him, I’ll die without him!” The king being controlled by her like a puppet, then told the prince that he couldn’t break the engagement or leave, that it would break the treaty between our kingdom and his and if he did try to leave, he would be killed. The princess’ adultery was of course overlooked and he was forced to stay.

During the months he has been kept here practically as a high-valued prisoner, Prince Andrew and I have become comrades. I can talk to him for hours upon hours about anything. I can trust him with my secrets and my life. I tell him my dreams and he tells his, we make each other laugh, and we look out for one another. He even patches up my wounds when I have one of her beatings. For the first time, I have a friend that understands. There’s one thing that he doesn’t know though. I’m falling in love with him. When he talks to me, I sometimes get lost in his handsome green eyes and his stunning smile and forget my troubles. When I’m with him, I feel like and he treats me like a human being. Not crippled, not a maid, but a real lady. The words ‘I love you’ have been on the tip of my tongue for quite some time now but I’ve been unable to tell him, for fear of rejection, until this evening. I have a strange, sudden feeling of courage. This evening, I plan to tell him somehow.

Princess Pepper is in the garden with her ladies-in-waiting and Andrew reading. The sun is about to set at any second, the sky becoming different shades of pinks. I also can see the garden, which looks like a palace of purple, from my corner of my eye, from the walk-on balcony and I long to be out there with Andrew but I’m now struggling to dust her bedroom, my arm muscles trembling as I try to reach the top surfaces. Then Andrew unexpectedly walks in. He startles me and I nearly drop the cloth but he catches it and begins to dust the surfaces for me.

“I thought that you were reading with m’lady and the ladies outside,” I say.

“I was,” he replies, “until the light outside got too dim. We were going to the library when she started to say how much loved me. I didn’t want to hear her lies so I told her that I needed rest before dinner and her poor ladies-in-waiting went with her. Those brave souls have to listen to her.”

I giggle then I ask him, “Do you love her in any way?” I’m making sure before I say the words.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he laughs, “We both know that she’s horrid. I do pity her though. She will never know what real love is.”

“You’re a good man,” I tell him, “You should have a good woman to love you.” He stares at me warmly for a moment but then looks away.

“No woman can love me now,” he says, almost sorrowfully.

I tug at his sleeve dotingly. He smiles, drops the cloth, and kneels down to my eye level. Holding his hand, I say boldly, “Andrew, I love you…so much…more than a friend. You have a gentle heart and when I’m with you, I feel safe…normal…a feeling that I haven’t had in a while. I might not be a princess or the prettiest creature of the land but I would do anything to be with you. I love you with all of my heart.”

At first, he gazes at me silently for a minute, his face being unreadable. Then, he suddenly kisses my lips hard. It’s my first romantic kiss ever and the room begins spinning. He says joyously, “I love you too my beautiful, beautiful Violet! Been in love with you since I met you. You‘re an amazing, gorgeous woman.” He kisses me again and this time I kiss back with all of my might.

“You know,” he jokes, “I'm a prince. I’m suppose to be confessing my love to you, not the other way around.”

“I won’t tell if you won‘t,” I chuckle, as he caresses me. Then we hear Princess Pepper approaching the hall. I pick back up the cloth but Andrew grabs the handles of my wheelchair and we zoom out of the room. She doesn’t even realize that we were there.

“We will escape this place someday,” I whisper, as we hide in my closet-of-a-room, “I promise.”

Now, it’s late at night and I’m back in her room. She had a quarrel with her father at dinner about not having the right wedding cake and to appease her, he gets the cake and lets her try on her wedding dress for the hundredth time. She is gazing in her mirror, spinning around her room, dancing on the balcony, as her ladies-in-waiting and I give her fake praise. The flowing, white dress is stunning but her wickedness takes away the beauty of it. It seems like hours since she put it. All I want to do is to be with Andrew right now. Finally, she dismisses her ladies-in-waiting to bed but I have to stay until she takes off her dress.  I’m holding her crown for her.

She stands on the balcony, still wearing the dress and faces me. With a mocking smile, she says, “Oh Violet, it’s a shame that you will never this feeling.”

“What feeling m’lady?” I ask.

“The feeling of being beautiful like me and having a man like Andrew. Let’s face it, no man will want you,” she cackles.

My anger gets the best of me and my shaking hands drop her crown. She runs towards me furiously and about to smack me when rebellion consumes me. Using my wheelchair to ram into her shins, I push her with extreme force. She howls in pain and tumbles back onto the balcony. All of the years of abuse are giving the bravery for what I’m about to do. Before she can run, I come onto the balcony too and push her off of the edge. She screams in horror and with my heart pounding, I watch. With terror and shock in her eyes, she falls, falls, falls, falls, and falls…then CRACK, SNAP go her bones. I look down and I can her mangled body and her blood splattered everywhere but I also see a surprise. Underneath her dead body is King Edward. He is dead as well. It looks like their skulls had cracked against each other. I didn’t mean or want to kill the king.

“Did he even scream?” I ask aloud. Then the realization of what I’ve done hitting me, tears come to my eyes.  “I-I-I k-k-killed them b-b-both,” I stutter.

“You freed us,” a voice says behind me. It’s Andrew and he kisses the top of my head. He has been standing behind the door, watching. “You freed us my love,” he says again.

Having him near me, I can shake off the fear and guilt for a moment and I wipe my eyes. I jump into action. Andrew and I come up with a quick plan.

“We need to escape before the guards come,” I say.

“My horse is still in the stables,” he says.

“Can you carry me to your horse?” I ask. We have to leave our possessions behind including my wheelchair and don’t ever look back.

“Yes I can.” he replies. 

Then the warning bell begins to ring. Without another word, he swiftly picks up and cradling me in his arms, he bolts downstairs, bust through doors, and into the stables. The guards are chasing us now but both of us are too determined to leave to care. Andrew unties the horse one-handed while I’m in his arms. Before I know it, we are on the horse, breaking down the stable door and galloping out of the kingdom forever, disappearing into the dark night. Our future seems blurry and I am sorry about the king but I still feel free, I feel like a fighter. The princess with the heart of ice can’t manipulate us anymore. Her frozen heart will burn in Hell.

(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011 

A romantic tale with a very dark end.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Friendly Cat

Friendly Cat

I'm sitting in front of my bedroom window. The sky is gray and melancholy just like my mood. Nightmares had haunted me the night before; horrific nightmares of my friend being shot and killed in cold blood right in front of me. All I could do was scream over and over as I watched my friend die. Even though I knew that it was only a nightmare and that my friend was completely fine, it still bothered me. Now my baggy eyes, due to lack of sleep, are watching the outside. I see the trees slowly sway in the ghoulish sounding wind and I hear the birds chirping and fluttering about. I'm just sipping my iced, sweet coffee when I see a white and black cat walking across the wooden fence that separates my yard and my neighbors‘. This small cat stops mid-step, sits, and bends its head down, looking like it’s bowing to me. It’s as if to say, "Good morning Miss". I giggle. Then it continues walking. The silly moment with the cat makes me smile and forget the nightmares.  That’s when the bright sun comes out, warming my face.

(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011

I was in a silly mood when I wrote this. Plus, I do see this cat most mornings. A horror story is coming soon, I promise.




Breaking up with him was like being a little girl and finding out that Peter Pan wasn’t real. For so long, I believed that the world was such a magical place, that we could fly. I memorized all of the fables of us that he fed to me. I believed that all we needed was faith, trust, and pixie dust until he spat reality at me. I came back down to Earth and now I’m so disappointed. I feel betrayed. I can finally see the heartrending truth in his eyes and his cynical thoughts that darkens a soul. The guy that I knew was just imaginary.

(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011.

Okay, you might be wondering why I wrote this. Well, my ex contacted me recently, telling me that he's moving out of state. Believe it or not, the message came as a shock and memories came flooding back for a second. I'm completely fine though. I just needed to vent one last time.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

April Update

What's up everyone??? How's it going? I haven't blogged in a while so I decided to post an update. Since last month, I've been taking online classes on . It's not for college credit, just to expand my horizons. I already took a psychology class and a writing class (Writing What You Know). I'm planning to take more classes. Also, I'm writing more short stories. They'll be posted soon. Well, that's it for now. I'll see you later!