Monday, February 28, 2011

Save PBS

Republicans want to cut funding for all pubic media, including PBS and NPR. I believe that it's very educational and informative. Also, it can viewed by all people and there's a better variety of family friendly shows on public television. Teachers sometimes use it as an outlet to what they're teaching as well. Please save public media. 
Sign the petition:

Saturday, February 26, 2011

A Monster...A Murderer

Even though I still love you,
you’re my drug that I’m still addicted to,
I know the truth behind the fable of you,
I know that you lost your mind and soul.
As you hold me,
I can see the blood on your hands,
I can even hear the helpless screams.

One night you came home late.
I was fast asleep,
dreaming of innocent things.
I then heard your soft footsteps, woke up with a start;
And what I saw made my heart stop.
You were soaked with sweat and blood,
And in your hand, you held blood stained blade.
I was shocked,
I was terrified.
My voice shaking,
I exclaimed: “What happened Love, what happened?”
Your reply was quick,
so matter-of-a-fact.
With your voice of slick,
you sounded gentle and disturbingly calm,
sweet but demonic.
That was the moment that I was consumed with fear.
You simply said: “Baby, I’m a murderer.”

You’re the monster that campfire stories warned me about,
the crazed monster that lurks at night.
I try to close my eyes,
but in my mind,
I can see the hell,
I can see it all;
The constant bloodshed,
the violence,
the pleas from your helpless victims.
Despite all of the evil,
I still need you.
Maybe I’m insane too,
I can’t walk away.
I love you with everything that I hold dear;
It’s sick and I know it.
I’m in love with a monster…a murderer.

(c)Lena Holdman, All rights reserved 2011

 I'm in a dark poet mood. A fictional poem about a girl who sees a terrifying truth but doesn't run. 

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Perfect by Pink

I love, love, love this song! The lyrics are so meaningful. It's about accepting and loving the way you are no matter matter what others say. I think that it's a good message. 

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Another Moment of Randomness (a Metamorphosis)

This month has been full of changes and obstacles. Family stuff and personal issues. I feel like I'm going through a metamorphosis; from a helpless, scared, a very lovesick, clueless girl to a strong, an extremely confident, unstoppable woman. I think that all I need is my family and friends. Everyday lately, I wake up in a bubbly mood. Good dreams remind me that everything is alright. Yes, a fairy tale would be nice someday but I'll just live my life for right now.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Love the Way You Lie Part 2 by Rihanna and Eminem

I love this song! The lyrics are very dark. Rihanna and Eminem are great together. They sang this at the Grammy's and it was amazing.

A Valentine Horror

Happy Valentine's Day! I decided to look at today in a new angle, start a new tradition. Be all about horror...blood and creepy things. A second Halloween! This is Lena's Valentine's Day. :-)     @}---

Saturday, February 12, 2011

the Man of My Dreams

Since I'm single again and it's right before Valentine's Day (in a feeble attempt of not being bitter), I decided to dream up a guy. Fantasy is better than reality. Enjoy! 

The Man of My Dreams 

I can just see him now, the man of my dreams. He’s probably very sexy, hopelessly romantic, amazingly kind and compassionate, extremely brave and adventurous and a little rough around the edges, but very silly and fun. He’s probably a private investigator or a cop (I’ve always been attracted to those guys). He probably has a handgun in his car at all times and he probably always wears dark sunglasses. He’s probably strong, muscular, and probably has a movie star smile. He probably drives a black Cadillac with leather seats. He’s probably also very rebellious and doesn’t take crap from anybody.

I bet we’ll meet at the library. Because his computer at his office will be broke, he’ll be using the library‘s, doing some research for an important case and I’ll be passing by. I’ll accidentally drop a book and he’ll pick it up for me and smile, gazing deeply into my eyes. When we first meet, we’ll have this amazing, special, and almost freakish connection and it’ll feel like I had known him all my life.

He’ll take me for a ride on his motorcycle, which he only drives on weekends around town. Then, he’ll take me dancing and as we slow dance, he’ll sing to me. Even though he’s a really bad singer, I'll love it because it'll make me feel special. When we kiss, it will so passionate, so hot, and magical that I’ll feel like a beautiful princess in a fairy tale. His kiss will taste sweeter than cotton candy and his lips will be soft and warm.

He’ll make an effort to spend time with me everyday no matter what. He’ll also know how to make me laugh (he’ll do silly voices and impersonations, tell me jokes, and more). He’ll take me to special places and events like rock concerts, theme parks, and museums. We’ll probably even have a secret place where we go to be alone; an old and abandoned house or on a rooftop of a tall building. Everyday with him will probably be an adventure but on days when we have nothing to do, he’ll snuggle with me in bed and read a book with me or just talk to me. We’ll always have fun together. Not only he would be my faithful lover, he’ll be one of my best friends. He’ll never treat me differently because I’m in a wheelchair and he’ll see me, not just my disability. He’ll love me for who I am. He’ll listen to me when I talk and ask me for my opinions on things.

He’ll understand that I sometimes get overly emotional and dramatic. I could cry in front of him and not feel embarrassed. He’ll be my prince charming, my knight in shining armor. When I get in trouble, he’ll be there to break down the door and rescue me. I’ll feel safe when I’m with him.

He’ll never force or pressure me into things like marriage. He’ll let me make my own decisions without complaint and not be threatened by it. When we do get married, it’ll feel so right. We’ll be a perfect couple. We haven’t met yet but I know that we’re meant to be. Someday, he’ll come into my life and change it forever. I’ll finally be with a man that I always wanted. We’ll live happily ever after.

©Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Granny Annie

Our family has been through a lot this week. On Sunday, my grandma fell, hit her head, and hurt her hip. On Monday, she had hip surgery. Now, she's recovering and we all been there for her daily. Keep her in your prayers to have a smooth recovery. I love you Grandma!

Forgetting the Winter Birthday Wish

Forgetting the Winter Birthday Wish

Once upon a winter’s night, a young woman’s birthday wish came true. It was bitterly cold and snow fell softly but her love was there. He sat next to her, wrapped his arm around her lovingly, and the warmness of his kiss lingered on her lips. She had been chatting with him on the internet all that summer and fall and on that winter night, she finally met him face to face. Even online, she felt an indescribable connection with him and she thought that she was in love with him. He was dark and mysterious but yet he seemed charming. When he chatted with her, he acted like she was his princess that he would forever adore. With the stars in her eyes, she thought that winter night was the beginning of their happily ever after but little did she know that as soon as her birthday candles were blown out, reality already begun to overshadow her picture perfect fairy tale.

Months passed and his mask of flawlessness disappeared. He was really a quite disturbed man with an icy soul. Demons always haunting him, a feverish anger constantly consumed him and he took it out on the young lovesick woman with the harshest words imaginable. She would cry and pray at night, wondering why and her heart breaking into a zillion pieces but he would always feed her lies, patching up her wounds with false hope and she would always forgive him. It was a never-ending cycle until one night, releasing the rage that was bottled up inside of her, she stood up to him and she made herself see the truth.

He was a dangerous monster not a charming prince. They never were a romantic fairy tale, they were a heartrending tragedy just waiting to happen. Even though a part of her still loved him, she had to walk away, abandon him, blockade her heart. His voice still echoed in her mind but she had grown stronger and she never looked back. She realized that it was all in her imagination, that she had to forget about her birthday wish that came true on that winter night.

©Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011

This is a fictional story but I did break up with my boyfriend. I'm not bashing him. We just had different lifestyles. Writing this was just my way of dealing with it.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

The Roommate

Today my mom and I went out to see The Roommate. I liked it. It was very suspenseful. It's about a pyscho girl that becomes obsessed with her roommate. This girl puts the C in crazy!! Leighton Meester did very well playing her. It's unbelieveable that she is the same actress in the TV show Gossip Girl because the roll that she plays in this movie is so dark. The Roommate was entertaining, go see it!!!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Colours n' Motion (Wheelchair Hip-Hop Dancing Group)


The video above is so, so, so, so cool. It's a wheelchair hip-hop dancing group called Colours n' Motion. The two girls of this group are Auti Angel and Briana Walker. They both got into serious accidents at different times but met and became friends, forming this very awesome group. I think that they move amazingly. When I fist saw them on YouTube on Monday, I was almost mesmerized. They are good.