You’d probably see something that even I wouldn’t recognize.
This is the monster that resides in my soul.
It chose me because I
was naïve,
I was easy to fool because I was so curious and gullible;
My own curiosity led me to a secret hell.
It taunts me with terrifying, vile thoughts;
Disturbing images of dark desires, murder, and lust.
My own mind is impossible to trust.
The pure part of me is so frightened and confused by them,
While the demon inside craves for them to become alive!
Having complete control,
it makes me do the unthinkable.
I try to fight but it’s too powerful.
I don’t know what I’m doing when it takes over.
My righteous side blacks out,
I’m it;
A rabid, wicked, pentagram-imprinted hunter.
Tainting the weak makes my mouth water,
Helpless screams make it more fun.
After the sinful deed is done,
I come to again,
I cry, fall onto my knees,
For I see the blood on my hands and the gore at my feet.
The evil inside just begins to giggle!
Can you help me?
Do you even believe me?!
Oh, it’s getting more hungry, more dominating.
If you’re going to save me,
please hurry!
It’s burning, scratching, gnawing;
Beyond torture!
How much invasion can
my soul endure?
Let me be killed if you have to,
Please just get someone…anyone to slay this monster!!
(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2014
Dark, Horror, Poetry, Metaphor
The narrator is tortured by guilt. The "monster" is making her do bad things and for a moment, she likes doing those things until she sees what she's done. She just wants to stop being sinful.
Last week, I went to Wonderland Camp and I had a blast! I
saw my old friends: Ann, Cookie, Brad, Scott, Kayla, Katie, Faith, Jason,
Dustin, Elvis, Lena, and Alena. I also made new friends: Abby, Kate, Brittany,
Kyrie, Shirley, and Kaitlin. This year,
I was in a different cabin, FHB, and it was a cool change. I was so happy that
I was in the same cabin as Cookie.
On Sunday, Kayla then Scott and his friend came to visit me.
It was very nice to see both of them. Then, after dinner, Cookie and I went to
the campfire and sang camp songs. There was more smoke than fire and it was
funny. Every time that we would try to come closer, we weren’t able to see or
began coughing. It was as thick as fog. We also took a hayride all around camp.
It was a very good beginning of the week.
On Monday, we tie-dyed our camp shirts in Arts and Crafts. I
tie-dyed my shirt purple and orange. In Rec, we then tossed balls into hula
hoops and it was so much fun. Later that
afternoon, we tried to swim. It was very cloudy but people said that the pool
water was warm so I went in despite the weather. Twenty minutes after getting
in, cold rain began pouring down. We had to rush out of the pool, as I shivered
uncontrollably. It was quite an adventure. After a warm shower, we hung out in the
cabin and listened to One Direction
until dinner time. For Evening Activity, we played “Cabin Feud” in the dining
hall. It was like Family Feud, just with camp-related questions. Our cabin
didn’t win but it was still fun.
On Tuesday, we rode the boat in the morning. It was slightly
brisk but the sun was out. I didn’t sleep the whole time this time and the
scenery was pretty. In music, we played a game that was like Musical Chairs.
There were pieces of paper around a table. When the music started playing, we
went around the table. When it stopped, you had to do the action that the paper
closest to you says to do, like “Act Out A Scene From Your Favorite Movie”. It
was funny. In Arts and Crafts, we painted a pet rock. I painted my rock purple,
red, and black. Then, after my rock, I painted my fingers to put my
fingerprints on paper. For Evening Activity, it was a karaoke night. I sang
“Beat of My Heart” by Hilary Duff. I then danced with everyone. After a while,
Cookie and I went outside and began chasing Brad around. It’s a joke between
the three of us. Cookie and I couldn’t stop laughing. Before bedtime, everyone
in the cabin played a game called “Hot and Cold”. Someone hid a cup and people
told the person who was finding it if they were hot or cold, which meant they
were close or far away from it. It was a
great night.
On Wednesday, in Rec, we exercised and colored paper rose
petals red all over camp (the week’s theme was Alice In Wonderland). In Arts
and Crafts, we made Mad Hatter hats. I decorated my hat with smiley faces,
hearts, stars, and puzzle pieces and it was cool. We then made flags for our
group talent in the talent show. The talent show began in the evening. Cookie
and I sang “Lucky” by Britney Spears and we rocked! Our whole cabin waved flags
and danced to “Wave Your Flag” by K’naan and it was comical. During the whole
show, I clapped, cheered, sang along, and laughed. Camp talent shows always make
me happy.
On Thursday, it rained cats and dogs throughout the morning
and afternoon. We did indoor activities and watched movies but everyone was
more excited about the dance. Later that afternoon, the girls had Beauty Shop.
Katie painted my nails black with silver glitter. I wore gray eye shadow and
dark red lipstick and she straightened my bangs. After dinner, I got dressed. I
put on my long, flowing, blue and black sundress and I loved it. Then the dance
began. People were bopping around, the colorful lights were shining brightly
and spinning ‘round, and the music was so loud that my ears rang a little. It
was awesome!! I don’t know why but sometimes being surrounded by blaring music
makes me feel like I’m on cloud nine, like I’m on a sugar high. I danced with
everybody. Jason even took me out of my chair and danced with me, which was so,
so cool! Every moment of that night was amazing!!!
On Friday, everyone was packing, signing shirts, and taking
pictures. I caught myself trying to memorize every face that morning. Fridays,
like I’ve said many times before, are always are bittersweet. I know that I’ll be back
and I’m happy to see my parents but it’s tough to say goodbye. Camp is my
secondary home and every time that I think about it, I smile. I remember all of
the laughter and each adventure, minor or major. I also feel blessed to know such incredible
people.
This book was haunting, creepy, sad, and a very good read. It's about a girl who has lived with her kidnapper for five years, since she was ten. For five years, she has been abused in unimaginable ways. The kidnapper, Ray was a sick-minded monster and the girl would do anything and say anything not to make him angry. Some parts freaked me out but I couldn't put the book down.
