My Mind (a Poem)

My Mind  

My mind  is a labyrinth. 
Each turn is an adventure, 
A wall is sometimes a puzzle to solve. 
Sometimes I want out, 
sometimes it's my only escape. 
I'm the mistress of my thoughts. 
My secrets, you won't be able to possess; 
I'm reckless, obsessive, imaginative. 
There are things that others won't comprehend, 
things that others won't believe, 
but this is my mind. 




(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2017 

Author Notes: This poem just popped into my head. My imagination is a surreal but yet twisted place.

Can I Have This Dance? (a dream entry)

Before you read about my awesome, romantic dream that I had last night, I wanted you to know that this entry isn't for Valentine's day. I won't totally go into my anti-Valentine's Day rant again (most of you already know how I feel about this day) but I don't think that we need a holiday for us to have love and romance. With that said, here's what happened in my dream: 

I was at a dance in a fancy ballroom. I was wearing a flowing, powder blue dress (I've always wanted a dress like Wendy Darling in real life). 

The characters from the Archie comics and Disney characters were there.  

My mom was my chaperone for some odd reason, (lol). Then, Shane Dawson and Lily Marston walked in.  

I wanted to ask Shane to dance but I was too nervous. Lily was dancing with Archie. Veronica Lodge then encouraged me to go over and talk to Shane. I slowly walked towards him and tapped his shoulder. 

"Hi Lena," he said with a grin, turning around to face me. I didn't know how he knew my name but I didn't care. We were talking and he was so funny and sweet of course. Then, a slow song came on. 

Ignoring the butterflies in my stomach, I asked: "Wanna dance?" 

"I can try," he smiled shyly. 

He slowly twirled me towards him. His hands were on my waist and my arms were around his neck. We were swaying back and forth, smiling and laughing. It felt like we were gliding around the dance floor. I rested my head on his shoulder for a few minutes and as everyone watched us dance, I gradually woke up to my mom's voice.

New Poem: Suddenly I Pray

Suddenly I Pray  

I watch the craziness, the violence on the news; 
I see the anger, the fear, the confusion on people's faces. 
Suddenly, I start praying; 
Praying to a wonderful god who watches over us, 
to a loving god who I think that others forget exist. 
Like a father with his child, 
He loves us no matter what 
and nothing will change that fact.



(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2017

Author Notes: I heard this poem (believe it or not) in a dream last night. Eh, the news these days has been rough.

Please Help the American Cancer Society

Hey Y'all,

My friend Jeff is organizing a team and participating in a relay to help raise money for the American Cancer Society. He's very passionate about this cause and I'm so proud of him. Please donate (if you can) and support him. For his info, go to: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLCY17PL?px=44853722&pg=personal&fr_id=82441 

Thanks. 

Smooches! 💋 

Poem: My World

My World 

If you could step into my mind,
see what I see,
maybe you would understand what I'm sometimes feeling. 
I know that my twisted, outlandish fantasies aren't real 
but living in my own imaginary world of magical creatures, silly characters, Youtubers, and pop stars is how I deal.
Ordinary things sometimes seem to be too serious and cynical. 


(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2017

Author Notes: This doesn't have a very deep meaning. I made this poem up off the top of my head. It's silly. This is about how I escape into my imagination sometimes, lol. 😃😜 

My Thoughts on Riverdale

Riverdale premiered last night and I loved it. Before the premiere, I was a little concerned that it was going to be too dark, considering it's based on the Archie comics. The Archie comics, which I adore, are usually bubbly and funny but Riverdale is cool. Yes, it's darker but it's still about Archie. Quirky Archie Andrews is just sexier than before (like he has finally hit puberty lol). 

I love that an emo Jughead is narrating the show and I love that it's a teenage murder-mystery. Cheryl Blossom's twin brother, Jason "drowns" in the river on the fourth of July but his body isn't found until later. There's mystery about the actual cause of Jason's death.

Veronica is still bossy and bitchy (lol) like in the comics but in the show, she's bitchy only to the mean people. She isn't the queen bee either and she's very nice to Betty. Betty, who's surprisingly my favorite Archie girl, is still a goody-goody like in the comics but in the show, her mother seems unstable and controlling. The infamous love triangle between Archie, Betty, and Veronica in the comics isn't on the show but it's obvious that both girls like him. Archie is also keeping a serious secret but I don't want to give anything away. I can't wait until next week. You should watch!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! #IStandWithShane

Two years ago, Shane Dawson came out as bi-sexual and he recently told everyone that he was dating Ryland Adams, who considers himself as gay. They are a very cute couple. I'm over the moon that Shane met someone and that he's being himself. I'm totally team Shyland but even though it's 2017, not everybody is as open-minded. Last night, they were kicked out from a military party for holding hands and for not being straight. As they were being kicked out, a security guard also hurt Shane's leg. This whole situation pisses me off and breaks my heart! 

  Not just because I'm a huge Shane Dawson fan (it's much more than that today) but because it's damn discrimination and a hate crime! This is a free country and love is beautiful, not a sin, no matter what your sexual orientation is. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??? Shane, Ryland, or anyone, period, shouldn't be treated that way! 👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍👩🌈 


What goes around comes around. 😡 

I love you Shane and Ryland! 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Smooches 💋 

What Would You Really Do? Be Honest!

If a frustrated looking person with a speech impairment, ask you an important question and you didn't understand the person, what would you do? Be honest.

A) Ask the person to repeat the question and keep trying. 

B) Smile awkwardly and walk away. 

C) Just ignore, pretend that you didn't hear at all. 

Is This Cute or Creepy?

I realize that this 7-year-old was just impersonating one of her idols and she did a very good job singing (that was a sweet part). My niece and I always sing to Taylor Swift but if my niece ever dressed like this on TV, I would feel uncomfortable. Even though the girl was only dressing like Taylor Swift, I think that the little girl's outfits and dance moves were way too revealing for her age. I have mixed feelings about this whole thing. I think that it's adorable when kids sing their favorite pop songs (trust me, my niece loves to sing and dance to songs on the radio and it's the cutest thing that I ever seen in my life) and I believe that kids should be able to express their creativity and their individuality but is this taking it too far? ⇧ Watch the video above and tell me what you think. Did you find it cute and epic or did you find it on the creepy side? 

A Message to S.O.S. (SomeOne Special)

Hi Stevie Wevie, 

How are you? I was just thinking about you today. I miss laughing with you on the bus, I miss eating with you at lunch (while you told everyone silly jokes), I even miss you and Andy teasing me (I've always wondered what it would be like having more than one sibling and you two meatheads definitely showed me what it would like, lol). Even though we all miss you everyday, we know that you still watch over us. Love ya Steven! 

---Lena 

My Theme Song: "Sit Still, Look Pretty" by Daya

↗ My theme song! 😎 Like the song says, I won't sit still, look pretty. I have my own mind and I have independence. I refuse to do what others are doing just to impress! I am me and that's good enough. 😏 "This queen don't need a king."  

Smooches! 💋