Spiritual Check-In #1

 

God,

Thank You for being so patient with me. I have two sides to me: one, a calm, spiritual, safe, grounded, lighter side—and another, a chaotic, wild, rebellious, darker side with warped tendencies.

With Your help, I’ve accepted all parts of myself and no longer feel ashamed of them. But I know I still have to be careful not to wander too far into the darkness. I’m sorry for the times I let my twisted tendencies take me too far, when I say or do things I don’t truly mean.

Please gently remind me that it’s okay to explore the unknown, to have a little fun there, but not to get lost in the rabbit hole of my darkest thoughts. Please shine a light when I need it most.

Also, please help James (the guy from IMVU) heal, move on, and forgive me someday. I do care about him, but I have to be true to myself.

And I pray that my friendship with Alex (my new IMVU/Discord friend) stays healthy and positive, and that I remain grounded in who I am.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit

As above, so below, 

Amen/Bless be. 

Smooches and think Tink

My Weird Self

 

I'm sometimes light, sometimes dark. 

Sometimes angelic, sometimes mischievous. 

Sometimes calm, sometimes chaotic. 

But no matter what, I'm my weird self and I'm damn proud of it! 

Smooches and think Tink!

  

My Harry Potter Dream

 

Last night, I dreamt that I was a Gryffindor teacher at Hogwarts. I taught spell writing/spellcasting. I had a golden fox as a familiar. Also, Harry, Hermonie, and Ron were in my class. It was so cool! 

 

Smooches and think Tink! 

Images created using AI tools (ChatGPT / image generation), but it's my concept.

The Shirt From the Unknown Band

 

Is this t-shirt cursed?

Rumor has it this shirt is part of a limited-edition merch line from an unknown band. Those who wear it for too long begin to feel something…wrong. A creeping sense of horror that slowly takes hold of the mind—until it consumes them.

Many have gone insane because of it.

Some say the shirts are infused with dark magic. Others believe they’re possessed by a demon.

No one really knows. 

Image created for storytelling purposes.

©Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2026

 

Smooches and think Tink!

Spiritual Thinking

 

One Sunday, one of the preachers (Lina the Jesus witch) in the Ministry of Christ & Order of Divine Mysticism's YouTube sermon called Jesus our Heavenly Brother. I had never heard that before, but something about it resonated with me. It makes sense—if God is our Heavenly Father and Mother Mary is our Heavenly Mother, then Jesus would be our Heavenly Brother.

Thinking about Jesus this way changes how I feel about Him. Instead of only seeing Him as a distant Savior or King, I begin to see someone closer—someone who walks beside me, not just above me. A brother understands. A brother protects. A brother knows what it’s like to live, to feel, to struggle.

It makes my relationship with Him feel more personal, more human. Not less holy—just more intimate. Like I’m not reaching up to someone far away, but standing next to someone who truly gets me.

And maybe that’s part of the beauty of faith—that sometimes, all it takes is a new way of seeing to feel closer than before.

Smooches and think Tink! 

SVU Night

 

It's SVU night!!!

Smooches and think Tink!

Image created using AI tools (ChatGPT / image generation), but it's my OC and concept

Darkness and Light

 

Me, Baby Steven, and Adam

"You have to have dark in order to show light." 

---Bob Ross  

This happened in my fictional world, in my mind.

Midnight Rebel, the original characters' villain, pretends to be a former pop star, now a masked man on social media. He loves singing and dancing. He has spiky black hair, piercing blue eyes, and tattoos on his neck, chest, and arms. He’s always shirtless, wearing a leather jacket open over his bare chest, black jeans, and black boots. He wears a devil mask. He has a black Harley motorcycle. He’s dangerously obsessive, flirty, and seductive. He’s a trickster demon.

Beware of Midnight Rebel

One night, he saw me at a coffee shop. I invited him to my imaginary house, where I live with Adam and my other original characters. Midnight seduced and entranced me. He used my darkest desires against me. I was pregnant and gave birth within hours, all in one night, with the help of dark magic. Midnight was dangerously obsessed with me.

Adam and I adopted the baby when we banished Midnight. I named the baby Steven, after my beloved friend. Baby Steven is pale, with black hair and blue eyes. With our powers, Adam and I pulled the darkness out of Baby Steven; not all of it, because everyone has some darkness, but we pulled enough, so Midnight won't have a connection to him.

Images created using AI tools (ChatGPT / image generation), but it's my OC and concept.

Smooches and think Tink

Adam vs. Midnight

Easter Sunday

 

Did y'all have a fun Easter on Sunday? 

Smooches and think Tink!

Lent Entry #43

 

God,

When I picture Aslan and Jesus Christ standing side by side, I notice both their similarities and differences, which helps me understand things more deeply.

Aslan, from C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia, and Jesus are both wise, loving, and natural leaders. Their authority comes from love, not force. They guide, protect, and care for others, and they both stand for something higher and sacred.

Both of their sacrifices were powerful. They each knew they were going to die, yet they chose to move forward anyway. They believed their deaths had to happen—for something greater, for others. That kind of love feels overwhelming and humbling to me.

But I also see differences.

Aslan, as a lion, feels bold and outward. His leadership can be loud, like a roar—strong and impossible to ignore. There is a visible, almost overwhelming power in him.

Jesus, being human, feels quieter. Not weak, never meek, but calm and steady. His leadership is more subdued, more gentle, but still deeply powerful. He doesn’t need to raise His voice to be heard.

One feels like thunder, and the other feels like stillness.

And both feel sacred to me in their own way. 

Thank You for Your, Mother Mary's, and Your Son's sacrifice for us. 

Thank You for making my mind work the way it does. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.

Lent Entry #42

 

God,

I believe my imagination is such a powerful place for me spiritually because it’s where I feel the most like myself. There’s no pressure there, no expectations about how I’m supposed to pray or what I’m supposed to say. It’s just me, being honest.

When I enter my imagination, my mind doesn’t drift as much. My original characters from my fictional stories help anchor me, keeping me focused so I don’t get lost in overthinking or distractions. Instead, they guide me back to You.

In that space, my faith feels more real. Not distant or abstract, but alive. I can feel things more deeply, understand things differently, and connect with You in a way that actually makes sense to me.

I think this is how I’m meant to come to You —not perfectly, or traditionally, but honestly, creatively, and fully as myself.

Thank You for giving me an imagination that pulls me in but doesn’t pull me away from You. It actually brings me closer. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below, 

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.

Lent Entry #41

 

God,

Today feels like a quiet scene. Nothing dramatic. Nothing overwhelming. Just…peaceful. Calm.

I’m in my beautifully chaotic bedroom: plushies everywhere, books stacked and scattered, and pillows soft and familiar. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine. It feels safe.

There’s a small rhythm to the morning. My solar bobblehead in the window, gently moving like it has its own little world—ticking, ticking, like time is passing but not rushing me.

I choked down my morning water (still working on that, lol), but my coffee? That I enjoyed. And breakfast felt good: Waffles with fruit, Greek yogurt, and chocolate syrup—simple things, but they made the moment feel full.

Sitting there, eating, watching YouTube, and just existing, I realized something: I’m content. Not struggling. Just steady. Just here. And I think that matters. And…I’m happy. A quiet kind of happy. 

Thank You for mornings like this—for calm instead of chaos, for enough instead of more, for a moment where I can just be.

Sometimes I expect something big to feel close to You, but maybe You’re just as present in mornings like this. In the quiet, in the routine, and in the soft, ordinary peace.

And right now, that feels like more than enough. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.

Lent Entry #40

 God,

If my soul were a room right now, it wouldn’t be perfectly clean or peaceful. It would be dimly lit—quiet, but not empty. There’s a soft, gentle light that never fully fills the space, but is still there...bright enough to see by. There are parts of the room that feel warm: memories, love, and the people I care about.

But there are also corners I avoid looking at—shelves filled with unopened books, and half-written stories scattered like they were abandoned mid-thought. Ideas I never finished. Pieces of myself I didn’t fully explore. Chapters I was too tired, too afraid, or too unsure to complete. Some things are messy. Not ruined—just…not finished yet.

There’s a chair in the middle of the room where I sit with You. Sometimes I talk. Sometimes I just sit there, hoping You understand what I don’t have words for.

Even though the room isn’t perfect, You’re still there. Not waiting for everything to be in place. Not asking me to be complete before You come closer. You sit with me in this quiet space, as if it’s enough to just be here together. And because You show me that kind of grace…I know where I need to show it, too.

I need to show grace in the moments where I get frustrated—with others, when they don’t understand me, and with myself, when I don’t understand myself.

I need to show grace when things feel unfinished, when people don’t meet my expectations, and when I feel like I’m falling short. Because Jesus didn’t wait for perfection before offering love. He met people right where they were. 

I want to learn to do the same: To be patient instead of critical. To be gentle instead of harsh. To give space for growth—in others, and in myself. Lent isn’t about becoming brighter all at once, but about letting You stay even in the quiet, unfinished places. Among the unopened books, the half-written stories, and the parts of me that are still changing. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.

Love and Chaos (a poem and a playlist)

 

Love can be a chaotic rollercoaster. 

It can bring you up, down, 

spin you all around. 

But despite all the loops and hoops you go through, 

The chaotic love lingers 

and never lets go.  

©Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2026

Images created using AI tools (ChatGPT / image generation), but it's my OC and concept.

Smooches and think Tink! 💋❤💜

Lent Entry #39

 

God,

Thank You for keeping my loved ones safe. Thank You for watching over them in ways I can’t always see. It brings me peace knowing they are in Your care. 

Please continue to guide and protect those I love. Surround them with Your presence and lead them in the right direction.

Help me never take their safety for granted. 

Happy Palm Sunday, Jesus! 🌿 💜

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.

Lent Entry #38

 

God,

When I’m feeling annoyed, please help me pause and breathe before I react. Calm my thoughts and steady my spirit so I don’t let small frustrations take over. Give me patience in the moment and remind me to respond with grace.

Help me keep my peace and let things go when they’re not worth holding onto. 

Also, please help others to see the error of their ways, like You help me see mine.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below, 

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink. 

My Latest OC

 

Anthony has dark-chocolate skin, faded black hair, and dark green eyes. He wears a 50s-style leather jacket, blue jeans, and biker boots. He appeared in my dream one night at a graveyard. He's playful, and zaps place to place. He’s the son of Morpheus (the Greek god of dreams). Anthony’s magic colors are black and silver. Adam is training him to be Magnificence’s new Dream Protector©, since Adam decided to protect me full-time and be my imaginary husband. Anthony will stay with us during the day and go back to Magnificence at night. He’s twenty-nine.

I might put him in a future story.

Image created using AI tools (ChatGPT / image generation), but it's my Original Character and concept.

Smooches and think Tink.

Lent Entry #37

 

God,

Thank You for the connections I have in my life. Thank You for the people who care for me, who stay, who listen, and who bring warmth into my days. Help me to appreciate them more and to be a source of kindness in their lives, too. Guide my heart to nurture these relationships with love, patience, and understanding. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink. 

Lent Entry #36

 

God,

If there’s anything in me that needs to fade this Lent, it’s my occasional anxiety.

It’s the overthinking on a dizzying loop and the way my mind runs ahead of me, imagining the worst before anything even happens. It steals my peace and makes me forget that You are already in control.

I lay my anxiety down—not perfectly, not all at once, but honestly. Because You never asked me to hold everything together by myself.

Help me release the fear of “what if.”
Help me trust You with the unknown.
Help me breathe without feeling like something is about to go wrong.

Let my anxiety fade, and let something new take its place.

Let peace live in me.
Let trust grow in me.
Let me feel safe in Your presence, even when life feels uncertain. 

Thank You for always holding me, even when I feel like I can’t hold myself.

Remind me that I am held, that I am not alone, and that I don’t have to fight every battle in my own mind.

Day by day, teach me how to rest in You. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below, 

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink. 

Lent Entry #35

 

God,

Today I don’t come to ask for anything.

No requests, no worries, no lists of things I hope You’ll fix.

I just want to sit with You.

Thank You for being here—even in the moments I don’t notice, even in the quiet spaces where I forget to look.

Thank You for my life, for my breath, for the small things that feel ordinary but aren’t.

Thank You for staying, even when my mind wanders, or my faith feels distant.

Right now, I’m not asking for answers.

I’m not asking for change.

I’m just here.

And I know…somehow, that’s enough. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink. 

Lent Entry #34

 

God,

Thank You for nostalgia—the quiet, tender gift of remembering.

Thank You for the moments I can look back on with a smile instead of sadness. For the memories that feel like soft light instead of something heavy. For showing me that my past doesn’t have to hurt to be meaningful.

Thank You for how far I’ve come, even in ways I didn’t notice at the time; For the growth hidden in ordinary days, and for the strength You were building in me when I didn’t yet understand it.

When I revisit old songs, old places, or old versions of myself, please help me see them with gratitude instead of longing. Remind me that every version of me was held by You, guided by You, and never alone.

Let my memories be a reminder—not of what I’ve lost—but of how much I’ve lived, how much I’ve learned, and how much You’ve carried me through.

Thank You for the past, for the present, and for the person I’m still becoming. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit;

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.

Lent Entry #33

 

God,

Thank You for showing me that my faith and my spiritual practices don’t have to be in conflict. Instead, they can come together in a way that brings me closer to You.

In crystals, I don’t seek power—I see reminders of the beauty and intention You placed in creation. In journaling, I don’t just write—I open my heart to You, turning my thoughts into quiet prayers. In music, I don’t just listen—sometimes I feel something deeper, something that grounds me and gently brings me back to Your presence.

These things don’t pull me away from You. They steady me. They help me breathe, reflect, and reconnect.

Please bless the things that help me feel grounded. Let them always lead me toward peace, toward truth, and toward You. Keep my heart centered so that everything I turn to for comfort becomes a path that leads back to You.

Help others find their own ways to feel grounded and connected, too, whatever that may look like for them. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,  

Amen/Blessed be.

Smooches and think Tink

Lent Entry #32

 

God,

Thank You for my thirst for learning and for the wit You’ve given me.

While watching the TV series, The Chosen, I felt drawn to the character of Abigail. She was kind and intelligent, and her connection with Jesus Christ stood out to me. When I looked deeper into her story, I saw how wise and brave she truly was—how she protected her household through courage and understanding, stepping into danger to bring peace.

Please help me, and others, grow in that same wisdom and courage in our own lives. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below, 

Amen/Blessed be.

Smooches and think Tink

Lent Entry #31

 

God,

Thank You for the time I get to spend with my family.
For the small moments that mean so much.
Help me not take them for granted,
and remind me that this time is a gift.

Please remind others that their time with loved ones is important too. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink

Lent Entry #30

 

God,

Thank You for music—the way it speaks when I can’t, and holds what I don’t know how to explain. Thank You for giving me a heart that feels deeply, even when it’s overwhelming, and for not leaving me there alone.

In songs, I find peace, understanding, and pieces of myself I don’t know how to name. Please keep guiding my heart gently, and help me use what I feel in a way that brings light, not weight. 

Please help others find this creative peace too. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.    

Lent Entry #29

 

God,

Thank You for my gut health. Thank You for how my body works behind the scenes, even when I don’t notice. Help me not to fixate on things I can’t control. When I feel anxious, remind me to unclench, breathe, and release. Let my body relax.

Please help others to relax and not overthink, too. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below, 

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink

Lent Entry #28

 

God,

Thank You for giving me the ability to create worlds while keeping my feet on the ground when needed.

Thank You for imagination and the escape it provides. Help me remember it’s okay in small doses, but not to get lost in it.

When I start to overthink or hold on too tightly, help me let go and trust You. Help me not to stress over things I can’t control.

Please help others feel grounded and less stressed, too. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below, 

Amen/Blessed be.

Smooches and think Tink.

Happy St. Patty's Day

 

Happy St. Patty's Day, from Adam!

Image created using AI tools (ChatGPT / image generation), but it's my original character and concept.

Smooches and  think Tink

Lent Entry #27

God,

I’m just checking in. To be honest, I don't know what to say today. No prayer is perfect, and this definitely isn’t, but it’s real.

Thank You for everything You’ve given me—even the things I forget to notice. I know I have more than I realize sometimes.

I get caught up in small things a lot. I overthink, get frustrated, or just stay stuck in my head longer than I should. And I know those things aren’t as big as they feel in the moment.

So I’m giving that to You. All of it.

Help me slow down. Help me keep the right perspective. Help me remember how blessed I actually am, even when I don’t fully feel it.

Please help others to see that their prayers don’t have to be perfect, just from the heart.

And even when I don’t say things right or show up the way I should, thank You for being patient with me anyway.

I’m trying. That’s where I’m at right now.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.

Lent Entry #26

 

God,

Thank You for the necessities in my life—food, clean water, a home, and a loving family. These blessings sustain me every day, even when I forget to notice them.

When small inconveniences happen, like the internet going out, please remind me to keep the right perspective. Help me remember how much I truly have and to remain grateful instead of frustrated.

Please remind others not to sweat the small things. Also, help those who are struggling to receive the basic necessities they need each day.

Teach me to appreciate the simple things and to never take anything for granted.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit;

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink

Lent Entry #25

 

God,

Thank You for the ability to empathize with others. Please help me remember that everyone carries wounds I cannot see, and help me look beyond the hurt someone may have caused to the humanity within them.

Please help me forgive and empathize with my enemies, past and present. Sometimes my anger feels strong, and forgiveness feels difficult. When I struggle, guide my heart and calm my thoughts.

You forgave even those who hurt You and Your Son. Help me learn that kind of mercy and patience in my own life.

I know I am not perfect. I am only human, and I am still growing. Help me become a more patient and forgiving person, little by little.

Please let forgiveness bring peace to my heart, not bitterness. 

Please remind others to have empathy and compassion. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below, 

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink

Lent Entry #24

 

God, 

Thank You for the gift of a vivid imagination You blessed me with. Thank You for the stories that grow in my mind and the characters that keep me company when I need comfort.

Even when I write dark or scary stories, You give me peace through my imagination. Some characters bring comfort, guidance, and encouragement, helping me stay steady even in the worlds I create.

I’m grateful for the characters You help me imagine—they bring strength and courage when my thoughts feel heavy. Through them, You remind me to keep dreaming, creating, and believing in the impossible.

Please help me use the imagination You gave me in a good and hopeful way, and let the stories I create bring light, comfort, and joy. 

Please open others' minds, and let them know that imagining isn't only for children. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below, 

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.