Spiritual Check-In #1

 

God,

Thank You for being so patient with me. I have two sides to me: one, a calm, spiritual, safe, grounded, lighter side—and another, a chaotic, wild, rebellious, darker side with warped tendencies.

With Your help, I’ve accepted all parts of myself and no longer feel ashamed of them. But I know I still have to be careful not to wander too far into the darkness. I’m sorry for the times I let my twisted tendencies take me too far, when I say or do things I don’t truly mean.

Please gently remind me that it’s okay to explore the unknown, to have a little fun there, but not to get lost in the rabbit hole of my darkest thoughts. Please shine a light when I need it most.

Also, please help James (the guy from IMVU) heal, move on, and forgive me someday. I do care about him, but I have to be true to myself.

And I pray that my friendship with Alex (my new IMVU/Discord friend) stays healthy and positive, and that I remain grounded in who I am.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit

As above, so below, 

Amen/Bless be. 

Smooches and think Tink

My Weird Self

 

I'm sometimes light, sometimes dark. 

Sometimes angelic, sometimes mischievous. 

Sometimes calm, sometimes chaotic. 

But no matter what, I'm my weird self and I'm damn proud of it! 

Smooches and think Tink!

  

My Harry Potter Dream

 

Last night, I dreamt that I was a Gryffindor teacher at Hogwarts. I taught spell writing/spellcasting. I had a golden fox as a familiar. Also, Harry, Hermonie, and Ron were in my class. It was so cool! 

 

Smooches and think Tink! 

Images created using AI tools (ChatGPT / image generation), but it's my concept.

The Shirt From the Unknown Band

 

Is this t-shirt cursed?

Rumor has it this shirt is part of a limited-edition merch line from an unknown band. Those who wear it for too long begin to feel something…wrong. A creeping sense of horror that slowly takes hold of the mind—until it consumes them.

Many have gone insane because of it.

Some say the shirts are infused with dark magic. Others believe they’re possessed by a demon.

No one really knows. 

Image created for storytelling purposes.

©Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2026

 

Smooches and think Tink!

Spiritual Thinking

 

One Sunday, one of the preachers (Lina the Jesus witch) in the Ministry of Christ & Order of Divine Mysticism's YouTube sermon called Jesus our Heavenly Brother. I had never heard that before, but something about it resonated with me. It makes sense—if God is our Heavenly Father and Mother Mary is our Heavenly Mother, then Jesus would be our Heavenly Brother.

Thinking about Jesus this way changes how I feel about Him. Instead of only seeing Him as a distant Savior or King, I begin to see someone closer—someone who walks beside me, not just above me. A brother understands. A brother protects. A brother knows what it’s like to live, to feel, to struggle.

It makes my relationship with Him feel more personal, more human. Not less holy—just more intimate. Like I’m not reaching up to someone far away, but standing next to someone who truly gets me.

And maybe that’s part of the beauty of faith—that sometimes, all it takes is a new way of seeing to feel closer than before.

Smooches and think Tink! 

SVU Night

 

It's SVU night!!!

Smooches and think Tink!

Image created using AI tools (ChatGPT / image generation), but it's my OC and concept

Darkness and Light

 

Me, Baby Steven, and Adam

"You have to have dark in order to show light." 

---Bob Ross  

This happened in my fictional world, in my mind.

Midnight Rebel, the original characters' villain, pretends to be a former pop star, now a masked man on social media. He loves singing and dancing. He has spiky black hair, piercing blue eyes, and tattoos on his neck, chest, and arms. He’s always shirtless, wearing a leather jacket open over his bare chest, black jeans, and black boots. He wears a devil mask. He has a black Harley motorcycle. He’s dangerously obsessive, flirty, and seductive. He’s a trickster demon.

Beware of Midnight Rebel

One night, he saw me at a coffee shop. I invited him to my imaginary house, where I live with Adam and my other original characters. Midnight seduced and entranced me. He used my darkest desires against me. I was pregnant and gave birth within hours, all in one night, with the help of dark magic. Midnight was dangerously obsessed with me.

Adam and I adopted the baby when we banished Midnight. I named the baby Steven, after my beloved friend. Baby Steven is pale, with black hair and blue eyes. With our powers, Adam and I pulled the darkness out of Baby Steven; not all of it, because everyone has some darkness, but we pulled enough, so Midnight won't have a connection to him.

Images created using AI tools (ChatGPT / image generation), but it's my OC and concept.

Smooches and think Tink

Adam vs. Midnight

Easter Sunday

 

Did y'all have a fun Easter on Sunday? 

Smooches and think Tink!

Lent Entry #43

 

God,

When I picture Aslan and Jesus Christ standing side by side, I notice both their similarities and differences, which helps me understand things more deeply.

Aslan, from C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia, and Jesus are both wise, loving, and natural leaders. Their authority comes from love, not force. They guide, protect, and care for others, and they both stand for something higher and sacred.

Both of their sacrifices were powerful. They each knew they were going to die, yet they chose to move forward anyway. They believed their deaths had to happen—for something greater, for others. That kind of love feels overwhelming and humbling to me.

But I also see differences.

Aslan, as a lion, feels bold and outward. His leadership can be loud, like a roar—strong and impossible to ignore. There is a visible, almost overwhelming power in him.

Jesus, being human, feels quieter. Not weak, never meek, but calm and steady. His leadership is more subdued, more gentle, but still deeply powerful. He doesn’t need to raise His voice to be heard.

One feels like thunder, and the other feels like stillness.

And both feel sacred to me in their own way. 

Thank You for Your, Mother Mary's, and Your Son's sacrifice for us. 

Thank You for making my mind work the way it does. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below,

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.

Lent Entry #42

 

God,

I believe my imagination is such a powerful place for me spiritually because it’s where I feel the most like myself. There’s no pressure there, no expectations about how I’m supposed to pray or what I’m supposed to say. It’s just me, being honest.

When I enter my imagination, my mind doesn’t drift as much. My original characters from my fictional stories help anchor me, keeping me focused so I don’t get lost in overthinking or distractions. Instead, they guide me back to You.

In that space, my faith feels more real. Not distant or abstract, but alive. I can feel things more deeply, understand things differently, and connect with You in a way that actually makes sense to me.

I think this is how I’m meant to come to You —not perfectly, or traditionally, but honestly, creatively, and fully as myself.

Thank You for giving me an imagination that pulls me in but doesn’t pull me away from You. It actually brings me closer. 

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; 

As above, so below, 

Amen/Blessed be. 

Smooches and think Tink.