Happy 4th Anniversary Shyland! 💙

 

Happy 4th Anniversary Shane and Ryland! 

Shyland: The most adorable 

the most loving

 

the most supportive 

Youtube couple ever!

I love you guys! 

Smooches and think Tink! 🧚🏻‍♂️🧚🏻‍♂️🤵🏻🤵🏻

The Fear Is Real But We'll Be Alright

Hi,

How's everyone feeling? I know that the news has been crazy and confusing with all of the coronavirus updates. Here is some info that I looked up myself. Coronavirus disease or COVID-19 includes a runny nose, sore throat, cough, and a fever. It can be more severe for some people and can lead to pneumonia or breathing difficulties. More rarely, the disease can be fatal. Older people and people with other medical conditions (such as asthma, diabetes, or heart disease), may be more vulnerable. COVID-19 has been characterized as a pandemic. A pandemic is a global outbreak of a disease. China has 80880 confirmed cases of coronavirus and had at least 3213 coronavirus-related deaths. In Italy, there is over 2798 cases and the death toll is raising. Many other countries have numerous cases and deaths as well. Now, the United States has over 3000 confirmed cases of coronavirus and at least 61 deaths. 

I know that this is scary and things feel apocalyptic right now with everybody panicking and places shutting down but we will be alright. Just have faith, think happy thoughts, avoid crowds, and remember to be super, super hygienic until it's controlled. The world is not ending.

I love y'all!

Smooches and think Tink! 💋🧚🏻‍♀️
external iconcharacterized COVID-19 as a pandemic. On March 13, the President of the United States declared the COVID-19 outbreak a national emergencyexternal icon I know that this is scary and things feel like apocalyptic but everything will be alright. Just have faith, think Tink, and avoid crowds until it's controlled.  

If They Only Knew (a love poem ❤)

If They Knew  

If they only knew the truth about you and me, 
it would be obvious for them to see that we're legitimately happy.
You accept my weirdness;  
You accept both my light and dark side, 
loving me no matter what. 
I accept your complicated past; 
I accept your quirkiness, 
loving all of you. 
Our love isn't sinful, gross, or harmful, 
it's unorthodox but beautiful.
If they only knew...if they only knew the truth.


(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2020 

Poet Notes: This is just a random, love poem about an ideal marriage that I want someday. 😉💌

Smooches and think Tink! 🧚🏻‍♀️🧚🏻‍♂️💏

Hey Steven ❤

Hey Stevie Wevie, 

I'm just thinking about you today. How are you? I'm good. I just miss your jokes and goofiness. I miss you everyday but I know that you're in a better place now and I'll see you again someday. 💖 Do angels help make the snow? I think that it's pretty. 

We all miss and love you. 

Smooches and think Tink. 🧚🏻‍♂️❤ 

Lena 

Goals/Dreams for 2020!

My Goals/Dreams for 2020! 

• Publish a story, poem, or my book 
• Read more 
• Win the lottery 
• Be more independent 
• Learn about tarot cards (for fun) 
• Travel more

Happy new year y'all! 🕛 
Smooches and think Tink 💋🧚🏻‍♀️🕛

The Snow Family (a Christmas story)

It was the day before Christmas Eve and eight-year-old Dream Yawz was playing in the snow in the front yard by herself. With her brown hair up in pigtails, she wore a pair of white earmuffs, a silver toy crown, a pink, puffy coat, and a pair of white mittens. Her white boots also crunched the freshly fallen snow, as she was building an extravagant-looking snow castle. Her favorite plush white dragon, brown teddy bear, and her baby doll sat on the tree swing, facing her. She was pretending that she was a Christmas princess, building a castle to marry her dragon prince. She didn't have many friends because the other kids thought that she was weird because of her wild, overactive imagination and her unique name. Her mom, Leah, always encouraged Dream to think outside of the box and to be creative, to be herself; despite what people said. Leah also had named her Dream when she was born to always remind her to be brave enough to follow her dreams, even when they seemed too crazy to reach. The name was supposed to be a confidence booster throughout her daughter's life but it was just seen as ridiculous and a complete joke. 

The cruelest bullies were two sisters named Shelby and Cami Thorn, who lived next door. Shelby was nine and Cami was ten. They both had blonde hair and green eyes. Even though they weren't twins, they dressed oddly alike. Normally, when they saw Dream, they would call her a freak or some other mean name but to her surprise, they were acting friendly that day. 

Wearing their leopard-printed winter coats and hats, and black boots, they walked over and Cami asked: "Hi Dream, do you wanna play hide-and-seek in the woods with us?" 

The neighborhood was near the woods and the kids were allowed to play there, as long as they didn't go too far into the woods or go near the pond. 

"Maybe Santa talked to them," Dream thought with hope, "or maybe they wanted to friends with her all along but they were secretly shy until now!" 

With her violet eyes wide in excitement, she exclaimed: "Really, you wanna be my friends now?!" 

"Sure," replied Shelby. 

"I know that we've been mean to you before," added Cami, "but we really think that you're pretty cool and your name is so beautiful, so you wanna come and play?"

"Yeah but I just gotta ask my mommy." 

Then, she ran to the house and from the door, she yelled: "Hey Mommy, can I please play hide-and-seek in the woods with Shelby and Cami from next door?!"  

Leah was already at the front door when Dream opened it. She saw them from the kitchen window. She thought that those two girls were going to bully her daughter again and she was going to give them a stern talking to like their mother should've done a long ago but it seemed like they were being nice. 

Now, Dream wanted to play with them. She hesitated at first but seeing her daughter's joyful face, she said: "Yes, Baby Girl, you can, just pick up your toys from the yard and remember, don't go too far in those woods."  

"Okay Mommy!"  Dream ran to the swing and back to the house, quickly handing her mom her toys.  

"Please tell my dragon prince that I'll marry him later," she told her mom, as she was running outside happily.

"I will," Leah chuckled. 

Neither Leah nor Dream saw it at the time but Shelby and Cami were whispering to each other and snickering menacingly. They were up to something.

Unknowing what was happening, Leah stood at the living room window and watched the three girls run towards the path into the woods. Her heart was rejoicing, for she thought that Dream was finally making friends.  

"Merry Christmas Baby Girl." 

Usually, the neighborhood kids only played on or around the main path within the woods. It was close enough for them to hear their parents calling them back home but far enough for them to feel independent. Shelby and Cami were breaking the rules that day though. They were leading Dream deeper and deeper into the woods. 

She asked: "Aren't we going too far? I can't even see any of the houses anymore." 

She fearfully looked around and they were definitely off the path now. All that she could see was snow, a grayish sky, and trees among trees. Some trees were small while others were so big that she thought that God, Himself, must have built them by hand. Also, most trees had leaves or pine needles still on their branches with powdered sugar-like snow sprinkled on top, while other trees were bare and skeletal-looking but were still beautiful in a grotesque way; the snow covering giving the naked trees an elegant flair. 

"We'll understand if you wanna go back," said Shelby. 

"Yeah, we'll understand if you don't wanna be friends with us," sighed Cami deeply, acting sad and laying on the guilt thick. 

"But I do," exclaimed Dream, "honest!" 

"Okay," smiled Cami, "Besides, this is a good spot to play hide-and-seek. Dream, you and I will hide and Shelby will count." 

Dream thought that Cami was sort of bossy but she was still happy to be asked to play. She told herself that maybe older kids were just pushy but she was sure that they would be the best of friends soon enough. Shelby and Cami grinned at each other. Shelby then started counting backwards from one-hundred. Cami hid behind a bulky tree and Dream hid in an opening in an old, fallen tree trunk on the ground. The opening being very dark, she couldn't be seen and couldn't see what was going on outside. 

As she crouched inside the trunk and tried not to smell the mildew, she heard giggling then someone's footsteps scurrying away in the snow. Shelby's voice also started to sound further and further away but Dream didn't think about it at that moment. She thought that the sounds were muffled because she was inside the trunk. It wasn't until she couldn't hear Shelby's voice anymore that she felt that something wasn't right. She slowly stepped out and looked for new "friends". 

"Shelby? Cami? Where are you? I thought that I was hiding." 

She hoped that this was just a silly prank and they were going to jump out at any minute but they wouldn't come.  

"Very funny," she called out, "you can come out now!"  

After a few minutes, she realized with a sinking heart that they were gone. All of this was just a cruel trick. They didn't want to be friends with her at all. Beginning to sob, she plopped on the snowy ground. Her tears felt extremely cold on her face in the wintry wind and she thought that they might become icicles on her cheeks but she didn't really care. 

"No one will ever like me," she thought, crying, "but why? What can I do for people to like me?" 

Then, her sadness quickly turned into fear when she realized that she didn't know the way back home. She could've tried to find the path but she might have gone aimlessly around in circles. Her mom had always told her that if she ever got lost somewhere, she should stay where she was so someone could find her. Even though she was very afraid and was crying harder, she sat there and waited. 

Suddenly, she heard a footstep in the snow. 

She asked, gulping in a sob: "Mommy, is that you?" 

Her mom would probably be a little angry that she went that far into the woods but she knew that her mom wanted her to be safe and would find her right away. 

There was no answer and there was another footstep. 

"Cami? Shelby?" She hoped that they came back for her and this was a prank after all but she was terribly wrong. 

There were more footsteps then growls. Emerging from some snowy bushes, a pack of gnarling and howling gray wolves came towards her hungrily. Dream froze in absolute fear. All of the seven wolves had rabies; their eyes bugging out crazily, mouths foaming, and muscles twitching. She wanted to scream at this nightmarish sight and just run but she stopped herself. With her heart pounding, she slowly stood up and backed away. Her body was trembling but kept backing up. She was almost far enough away from them, when she tripped on a rock and fell on her back, losing her toy crown in the snow. One of the wolves abruptly lunged at her. 

Not knowing else what to do, she just laid there, closed her eyes, and yelled out: "MOMMY, HELP!" 

Nothing happened though. She only heard an odd squealing sound and the wolf yelping. When she opened her eyes, she saw that the wolf was dead with a large twig in its neck and suddenly, its body disappeared. Then, like an arrow zooming through the air, another big twig hit the rest of the wolves in the necks, automatically killing them then somehow making their bodies vanish. Dream was confused and scared by what she just saw. She finally got back up to run. She didn't know where she was going but she just couldn't stay there. She only took a few steps when she saw four snow people between two pine trees nearby. 

Puzzled, she thought: "Were those there before?" 

The snow people, (a snowman, a snow-woman, and two snow children), were well-built and looked like a family. The snowman, the tallest, had coal for eyes, a carrot for a nose, black string for a mouth, and two, long twigs for arms. He wore a dark blue vest with golden fringe and a blue stocking cap, while an old-fashioned, brown knapsack bag hung across his chest. The snow-woman was medium-height. She had sapphires for eyes, a carrot for a nose, gray mop-yarn for hair, and peach-colored string for a mouth. However, she strangely had no arms. She also wore a long, fancy, baby-blue coat with white fringe and a dark blue winter hat and scarf.

The snow children were the smallest. The first snow child was a girl with bubblegum pink yarn for hair and a mouth, hot pink buttons for eyes, a baby carrot for a nose, and two, tiny twigs for arms. The snow girl just wore a pink stocking cap and scarf. The second snow child was a boy. He had a baby carrot for a nose and small twigs for arms like his sister, but he had emerald buttons for eyes and shamrock-green string for a mouth. He only wore a green stocking cap and scarf as well. 

Dream crept up to the snow family. She thought that the snow family looked cute but she wondered why the snow-woman didn't have any arms. She was staring at them for a few minutes with awe when she thought that she saw the snowman moved towards her. 

"No way," she told herself, "only Frosty the Snowman can move. Don't be silly!" 

The snow-woman then moved closer towards her and the snowman tried to touch her hand with his twig arm. She screamed and jumped back. Gradually, all four snow people moved closer and closer. They were lurking towards her like fearsome, frost-bitten monsters. The snowman and snow-woman slid their legless bodies through the snow, while the snow children bounced on their bottoms to move forward. Looking at the snowman's arm, it hit Dream that it was the same twig that killed the wolves. The snow-woman must have done it and that's why she didn't have arms now. 

"She did stop those wolves from attacking me," she thought, "but why? What if she only saved me so she could kill me herself?" 

Dream started screaming hysterically and tried to hide in the opening of the fallen tree trunk again but the snow boy tried to bounce inside with her. She pushed him back into the snow and he began wailing. Crying and wheezing, Dream then ran out of the trunk and through the bushes and trees; branches scratching her skin and tugging at her clothes. She looked behind her and saw the snow family. She thought that they were chasing her. She wasn't paying attention and accidentally stepped on the frozen pond. She was slipping and sliding across, desperately trying to keep her balance. Then, to her horror, she heard the ice beginning to crack under her. She tried to get off of the pond as fast as she could but the ice broke thunderously underneath her feet. She screamed, as she was about to fall, but before she could even touch the water, something grabbed her by the hood of her coat. She looked up and saw that it was the snowman.   

As the snowman pulled her up, she cried out: "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" 

"Oh silly child," chuckled the snowman in a booming but friendly voice, "why would I kill you when I'm helping you?" 

She was bewildered and in shock, not being able to talk for a second. The snowman cradled her in his arms and glided off of the pond as if he was skating.

"Poor thing," said the snow-woman, as the snowman gently put her down on the ground, "is she okay?" 

"Yes, my darling," the snowman replied, "she's fine." 

The snow girl was bouncing in place and the snow boy was whining, asking: "Why did that girl push me?" 

"Oh dear," the snow-woman cried out to the snowman, "look at her! She has scratches all over her and she has been crying. My love, please get your handkerchief from your knapsack and get some snow." 

"Of course Darling."

Dream couldn't move due to shock still. Bending over, the snowman attentively wiped away the tears from her face with his blue handkerchief. He then put cold snow on her face and arms. The scratches magically healed and vanished. 

The snowman asked with a smile: "Better?"

"Yeah, thank you," she replied, "so you're good snow people? You won't hurt me?" 

"Goodness," exclaimed the snow-woman, "we only want to help! I promise you that you're in no danger." 

"But didn't you kill those wolves?" 

"Yes, only to stop them from hurting you," the snow-woman explained softly, "and those poor creatures were suffering from rabies. Would you like to  see where they are now?" 

Not understanding, Dream nodded. The snow-woman glanced over at the snowman and he scooped up a snowball with two twig-hands. Within this snowball, an image flickered into view. The image was of the wolf pack happily running, prancing, and pouncing upon fluffy clouds. They acted like playful puppies. 

"They look so happy," Dream grinned. 

"They're in Heaven," replied the snow girl. 

When the snowman dropped the snowball, the image disappeared.

"Heaven," Dream asked, "Who are you guys? How were you brought to life...by your hats or by a very powerful wizard?" 

"What a quizzical child," laughed the snowman. 

"I can see," smiled the snow-woman, "My name is Petra. This is my husband, Maximilian but you can call him Max for short. These are my children, Penny and Peter. We were built and brought to life by angels." 

"Angels?" 

"Yes, angels," Petra continued, "You see, angels are allowed to come down to Earth during the month of December. During the night, while people are asleep, they love to play in the snow. This year, they built us, brought us to life, and even gave us powers just for fun." 

"Wow!" 

Petra then asked: "So what's your name?" 

"My name is Dream." 

"That's a pretty name," replied Petra. 

"I used to think so," sighed Dream sadly, "but people tease me about it and they don't like  me." 

"You shouldn't bother with people who won't like you just because of your name," said Max. 

"Yes," added Petra, "people should like you for you, name and all. You shouldn't be ashamed of you are. If they were actually friendly, they would be willing to get to know you. They shouldn't rush to assumptions and judgments or be cruel only because someone is different. There is such a thing as seeing with ones' heart, along with seeing ones' eyes." 

Max's and Petra's kind words made Dream feel better. She shouldn't be ashamed of her name or anything else about herself. They were right. If someone really wanted to be friends with her, that person would care about her and accept her unconditionally. It was a waste of time to listen to bullies.  

Then, blushing, Dream said: "I'm sorry that I thought that you were monsters and running from you. Thank you for saving me. You're very nice." 

Both Petra and Max laughed, and Max said: "It's okay. I'm sure that it's a surprise to see some walking and talking snow people and you don't need to thank us. You needed help."                  

Dream knelt down to say sorry to Peter for pushing him when he started whimpering and trying to grab at his mom. Max tried to shush him but he was inconsolable. At first, Dream didn't understand. 

"He must be very mad at me," she thought. 

Then, she heard him begged: "Hold me Mama, hold me please!" 

She also saw the sorrow in Petra's eyes as her son cried for her and that's when Dream realized that Peter wanted to be picked up but Petra obviously couldn't because she didn't have arms anymore. Dream felt so bad. Petra lost her arms from saving her. She knew if she couldn't hug her mommy ever again, she'd be heartbroken so she searched through the snow for two strong twigs. 

After a few minutes, she found the perfect ones and she asked Max: "Can you lift me up?" 

Somehow knowing what she was doing, he nodded and lifted her up to Petra. She carefully placed each twig in the arm spaces.

"Aw," Petra exclaimed happily, "thank you!" 

The moment that Max put Dream back down, Peter and Penny excitedly bounced in Petra's embrace, which made Dream smile wide.   

Still in his mom's arms, Peter turned to Dream, grinned, and said: "You gave my mama new arms. You're my friend now. You can push me into the snow anytime! I'll just bounce anyway." 

This made everyone laugh for a moment. 

"Okay Dream," said Petra, "We better take you back to the path." 

"Do you know the way?" 

"Of course!" 

As they were heading back, Dream played tag with Penny and Peter then told Petra and Max all about what Shelby and Cami did to her. 

"Those girls aren't very nice," remarked Petra, "Can we do something, my love?" 

"A plan is brewing in my mind Darling." 

Dream just grinned. 

When they were finally on the path, Dream saw Shelby and Cami talking and playing with their Barbies under a tree. She heard them laughing and gossiping about her already, and she wondered if she could stay with the snow family a bit longer but Max then whispered his mischievous plan to her. They weren't going to harm the girls in any way but were going to give them a good scare. Liking what she was hearing, she smiled and nodded in agreement.  

The snow family hid behind trees while Dream walked up to the girls. 

"Hey freak," mocked Shelby. 

"Look at you," laughed Cami, "you finally found your way." 

"I had help," said Dream with a sly smile. 

"By who," Cami asked sardonically, "your invisible friend?" 

"No, just some snow monsters that I met in the woods." 

While Shelby and Cami were laughing, the snow family crept out of the trees and with the most frightening, evil faces that they could muster, they all let out a horrifying roar. Shelby and Cami instantly turned white, screamed, and ran. Terrified, Shelby even peed on herself while running. The snow family then started to chase them around. Petra was running after them, waving her arms in the air and growling. Max winded up on his stomach, sliding through the snow, yelling wildly and acting like he was going to grab their ankles.  Dream, Penny, and Peter got on his back as well, throwing snowballs at the girls. 

Even though Dream's day in the woods started off heartbreaking and scary, it ended up being one of the best days of her young life. Ever since that day, she learned not to jump to conclusions about anyone or anything, and not let bullies rule her. The snow family also always visited her every winter and protected her throughout her life. She was still considered to be a weirdo but the snow family reminded her to live up to her namesake...chase her dreams and never let nay-sayers hide the path. 


(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2019 

   
     

Music by: Lucas King 

Merry Christmas y'all! 

Smooches and think Tink! 💋🧚🏻‍♀️⛄ 

What I'm Up To

Hi Y'all,

I wrote a little today. Part 2 of "Disney Other World" is being written. 😈 I'm planning to write my annual Christmas story as well. 🎄🎅🏻 Don't worry, new content will be posted soon but for now, here's my new Shane fan art: ⇩ 

Also, here's a picture of me in the new ShaneDawsonXJeffreeStar makeup: ⇩ 

Smooches and think Tink! 💋🧚🏻‍♀️

I Passed ModPo 2019!

I passed my online class with an 100%! 

Smooches and think Tink! 🧚🏻‍♀️🖤

Happy Birthday Steven!

Hi Stevie Wevie, 

Happy birthday! Are you partying up there? I bet that you are. I still miss you everyday but I know that you're happier now. 😃💝 

Love you. Smooches and think Tink. 👼🏻🧚🏻‍♂️

Wonderland Camp, October 2019

 I had an amazing time at Wonderland Camp during the weekend of October 25th, (despite sucking on honey cough drops throughout the weekend thanks to my lovely allergies, lol 😜). I was so happy! I saw my old friends: Kayla, Cali, and Mollie. I also made a new friend named Megan. She was a new counselor/volunteer. She was so shy but once I made her laugh, we just clicked. 😀👩🏼‍🤝‍👩🏻

Before dinner, my cabin-mates and I drew and colored pictures. I drew Slender Man and Shane Dawson posters to hang up next to me inside of my bunk (I know, I’m a weirdo 🤪). After dinner, we sang silly camp songs in the dining hall. I think that I could sing these goofy songs in my sleep 😆. Due to the weather, we couldn’t do a campfire but we got s’mores flavored donuts. They were absolutely scrumptious. It was a great, relaxing night. 

On Saturday, we had Music, dancing and hanging out. Then, we shot bb guns. I hit the target five times! After bb guns, we had Arts and Crafts and made paper bag monster puppets with glue and paint. My monster was purple with six red eyes. Because I was feeling creative, Megan and I then made a Peter Pan hat with green paper and a red pipe cleaner. 

It was rainy that afternoon so we then had inside activities.

First, we hung out in the game room. I was playing Connect Four and was beating every person who played me. Then, we got to decorate cupcakes with icing and candy in the dining hall. I was doing more eating than decorating (😋lol) but hey, it was fun. 

After decorating, we had a random dance party, which was chaotic and awesome.

After dinner, we got into our costumes. I was Jack Skellington. 

We then got a nighttime hayride around camp. It was peaceful. After the hayride, we went through the camp’s haunted house. I have to give props to the Wonderland staff. 👏🏻They really stepped up and tried to make it scary with people in makeup and masks jumping out. 👏🏻 😈 Once all of the cabins went through the haunted house, we had a Halloween carnival in the dining hall. They had games and stuff but I was just being a goofball and sped around the hall. 👩‍🦼

It was the first time that I had my new wheelchair on high speed 👩‍🦼👩‍🦼 (sorry, not sorry 😜😎 lol) and I was having a blast!

On Sunday, we had a couple of hours before we went home so we got to shoot arrows. I hit the target once. After bow and arrows, my friends and I hung out in the crafts room. When Mom and Dad came to pick me up, I was drawing and writing silly things. The entire weekend was easy-going and incredible. I loved it so much! Megan was so cool!! I’m happy that I met her that weekend. 😃 

Hey y'all, 
I'm sorry that this is a month late. 😄 My writing schedule has been slightly out of whack because of the online class that I've been taking but I did have fun at camp and don't worry, part 2 of Disney Other World is coming soon. 
I hope that y'all had a good Halloween. I did! 😀🎃

Smooches and think Tink!