Part 1
Olivia Benson was having a rough day. She and her squad were dealing with an exceptionally insane case involving a nineteen-year-old, Leanna Barrie, and her mother. Leanna had cerebral palsy and was in a wheelchair. The alleged perp was Leanna's thirty-year-old boyfriend, Francisco Charles. Her mother, who was a close friend of Chief McGrath, had court-appointed guardianship over her. She claimed that Mr. Charles had raped Leanna, but Leanna swore that it was consensual and that she was in love with him. Carisi then, of course, said that they didn't have enough evidence to make an arrest, but the mother kept insisting. It was just a mess.
Olivia set her glasses down on her desk and sat back in her chair, closing her eyes and trying to ignore the headache coming on. Despite some moments of peace and happiness, she felt so emotionally drained lately. She should have talked to her therapist, but she had been too busy to see him. She could talk to Amanda Rollins, but she didn't want to sound like she was always complaining. She could call Elliot Stabler, but their conversations tend to get awkward nowadays. He was still going through grief over the loss of his wife, but he was obviously wanting something more than friendship from Olivia. Then, her thoughts went to Rafael Barba in spite of herself.
She had told herself not to give Barba the time of day again after he decided to defend Richard Wheatley. Yet, here she was, thinking about him. She was missing him—missing his little smirk, his sarcastic remarks, him asking her if she was okay. She was just missing his voice in general. Maybe her judgment was slightly compromised during the Wheatley case because the victim was Elliot's wife. Maybe she was too harsh on Barba. He was only doing his job, after all, and maybe he was protecting her and the department.
Even though she heard Fin telling Rollins that Rafael was dating a neighbor, Olivia still needed Rafael in her life in some way.
"Rafa," she whispered to herself before she realized what she was doing.
She was about to swallow her pride and call him when Fin knocked on her office door.
"Liv," he said, popping his head in. "Leanna's mother is here again, and she's on a rampage. She'll only talk to you. Do you want me to tell her to go home?"
"Thank you, Fin," she sighed. "No, I'll talk to her. Just give me a sec."
"All right, Liv."
It was time for her to go back to work. She was going to take some Tylenol and power through her emotions. She told herself that she would call Rafael later, and he would hopefully forgive her. For the moment, though, she needed to remain focused on her work.
It was almost midnight when Olivia finally stepped into her apartment. Noah was already in bed.
Cracking his door slightly, she whispered, “Goodnight, sweet boy.”
She still had paperwork to do, but she was beyond exhausted.
After dressing in her night clothes, she climbed into bed, and she was out before her head hit the pillow.
***
She was suddenly walking into a courtroom bathed in bright, white light. The wooden furniture seemed to glimmer extra vividly in the intense light. The courtroom was also unusually empty. There was no one sitting in the gallery. No court stenographer. No jury. No judge or bailiff.
But she heard Rafael Barba say, in his typical confident, booming voice, “Your Honor, I call Captain Olivia Benson from the Special Victims Unit to the stand.”
She didn't see him at first, but out of habit, she quickly walked toward the stand and sat down.
Amanda Rollins then stood in front of her, holding out a Bible. She asked her, “Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you, God?”
Once Olivia said, “Yes, I do,” Rollins disappeared like a phantom.
“Rollins?” she exclaimed, perplexed and uneasy.
Then she saw Rafael Barba standing at the plaintiff’s table.
No one was at the defendant’s table.
He stood and walked closer toward her. He was wearing a black suit over his suspenders, with a purple tie. He still hadn’t shaved his salt-and-pepper beard.
Olivia’s breath caught in her throat for a moment. It was a welcome, yet heart-aching sight.
She hadn’t seen him since their argument at Forlini’s, where he passionately said, “I do know what it means to love someone unconditionally. When you’re ready to stop feeling betrayed by me, I’ll be here.”
The words echoed in her mind.
Then she quickly collected herself.
He unbuttoned his jacket and adjusted his tie, casually walking up to her with a determined, cocky expression on his face, as always. But there was a hidden softness behind his green eyes.
“Captain Benson,” he began, “how long did we work together?”
“Six years. You were the D.A.”
“Did we get along?”
“Yes. Very much so.”
“Did we trust each other in our work?” he asked.
“Yes. It was always a group collaboration.”
“So we were partners?” he added.
“We can say that,” she said, thinking.
“Since you considered me a partner,” he inquired, “did you trust me on a personal level outside of work?”
“Yes. Not recently, though.”
“Not recently?” he asked quizzically. “So when did you—shall we say—become disenchanted with me?”
“When you defended Richard Wheatley at his trial. The man who orchestrated the murder of Kathy Stabler, the wife of my former partner, Elliot Stabler.”
Barba was now leaning nonchalantly against the plaintiff’s table with one hand.
“But wasn’t I just doing my job as a defense attorney?” he asked sarcastically. “And was I protecting you, my former partner?”
“Yes, you were only doing your job. But I didn’t need your protection, Barba!”
“Liv, don’t you realize…” he exclaimed, dropping his lawyerly demeanor, “…if I didn’t take the case, a worse attorney would brutally attack you, exposing your personal life and career on the stand?! Also, they would gladly point out the obvious blind spot you have for Detective Stabler.”
“Again,” she said angrily, “I didn’t ask to be protected! I’m a grown woman, Barba! I’ve faced many backlashes and obstacles throughout my career and in life in general. I asked you not to take Wheatley’s case, but you took it anyway! Then you had the gall to patronize me about my relationship with Stabler!”
“I’m sorry for making you feel unheard and infantilized,” he said in a softer tone. “I truly am. That wasn’t my intention, Liv. I know you’re a strong woman—you’re one of the strongest people I know! All your great work just shouldn’t be dragged through the mud by some money-hungry attorney. But you’re right. I should’ve listened to you. And I understand you wanting to have Detective Stabler’s back. I don’t have to like it, but I understand it.”
“Thank you,” she said with a slight quiver in her voice.
Suddenly, she became emotional, tears streaming down her face.
Him speaking to her this way reminded her of the pep talks they gave each other back in the day.
And it had been a while since anyone cared how she felt about anything.
“You’re okay, Liv?” he asked tenderly, instantly noticing her tears.
“I just…”
“Just what?”
“I just miss you, Rafa,” she sobbed. “I just need you in my life! I love you, Rafa. I love you.”
Barba quickly walked behind the stand, tightly embracing her.
“I told you I’d be here,” he said warmly, “when you were ready. I’ve always loved you—in all ways.”
He then kissed her forehead gently and said with a smile, “Now, all you have to do is call me, Liv.”
***
She abruptly woke up with tears in her eyes, remembering every moment of her dream. She wiped her eyes and looked over at her digital clock. It was four in the morning. She was actually surprised that she hadn’t gotten a call from Fin or Amanda saying they had a new case. Evil usually ran amok in the dead of night.
Then Barba’s words from her dream repeated in her mind:
“Now, all you have to do is call me, Liv.”
Despite herself, she unplugged her phone from the charger and clicked on Barba’s number, which she still had in her contacts.
She didn’t expect him to answer because of how early it was.
But he did.
“Hello,” he said, his voice sounding groggy and a little irritated.
“Hi, Rafa. It’s me…”
“Liv? Are you okay?” he asked, more awake and concerned. “Is Noah okay?”
“We’re fine. I know it’s out of the blue and very early, but I’ve been thinking about you. About us. I’m sorry for being so harsh on you before. Can we talk?”
“I’m sorry too, Liv. What I said and did was out of pocket. I’m glad you called—despite the time.”
Olivia heard the smile in his voice, and the heavy emptiness in her heart gradually vanished.
Rafael Barba was back in her life.
Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit or its characters. They are the property of Dick Wolf, Wolf Entertainment, Universal Television, and their respective copyright holders. This is a non-commercial fan work created purely for fun and entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: I decided to rewrite an SVU fan-fic tonight. I obviously ship Benson and Barba. Also, Barba is one of my fictional husbands. Don't judge me lol! 😍💜
Smooches and think Tink
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