Saturday, May 7, 2011
Chasing a Demonic Love
Chasing a Demonic Love
In a dream, I was walking in a lovely garden at night. The night was incredibly dark but I could see that the garden had beautiful, purple orchids. It was a purple haven that I could easily get lost in. The atmosphere was strangely quiet and surreal but serene. I also noticed that I was wearing a flowing, white dress that blew in the calm wind. Then, as I was walking, I heard a voice whisper, “Come and get me.”
I exclaimed in fear, “What? Who’s there?” I didn’t get a reply. The alluring voice just kept saying repeatedly, “Come and get me.” I followed the voice through the garden and to a labyrinth. I stood at the entrance of the labyrinth and I saw the person behind the voice. It was a young man with captivating eyes and a flirtatious smile. I could see his big, muscular, and shirtless body and I blushed, my heart pounding wildly. I suddenly wanted this stranger with every fiber of my being. He said to me in a playful but a sensual tone, “Come on, chase me.” He then disappeared deep into the labyrinth. My desire for him was too great and I stepped forward.
When I entered the labyrinth, my white dress turned black and the wind became ferocious. I began running. I ran left, I ran right, I ran around into dead end after dead end. No matter what I did, he was close enough to be seen but never close enough to touch. Was he good or evil? Did he really love me or was I only running into a trap? I didn’t know or care. This burning in my soul felt like an extreme hungry. I just had to touch something that seemed forbidden…I just had to have him.
After what seemed like hours of running, we were suddenly face to face. He passionately pulled me close to me and his eyes were intense. Feeling his warmth, I wrapped my arms around his neck. With my eyes closed, we kissed eagerly and his kiss was so intoxicating. I felt weak at the knees and lightheaded but I liked it. I wanted more. Then, he whispered, “You just can’t resist a demonic love, can’t you my dear?” I opened my eyes and I saw that his eyes were now red and his smile had jagged fangs. I tried to escape from his grip but he held me tightly. I screamed in utter horror and despair as he cackled wickedly and put a sack over my head. I then woke up with a quite start, breaking into a cold sweat, my body quivering with fright.
(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011
The song above inspired this story. It was fun to write on Friday night.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Impairy Web Site
P.S. The prologue is the second post on the impairy web site so please scroll down first there before you read part 1 if you haven't read the prologue.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Heart of Ice
Heart of Ice
Here comes the princess with the heart of ice. Princess Pepper has everyone fooled except for Prince Andrew and me. She acts like she cares about her kingdom, acts like a bleeding heart that would sacrifice for her subjects but she’s a vain, melodramatic, cruel, spoiled brat! Her father King Edward does anything to please her because she reminds him of her mother who died during childbirth. People die if Princess Pepper sheds just one tear or something doesn’t go her way, she laughs at the poor, starved, and unloved, and she squanders away the kingdom’s riches for her gold and magnificent dresses. She masks her malice with her incredible beauty, her brown eyes looking quite innocent, her golden hair shining in the sunlight and her marvelous clothing being so blinding but I can see straight through her.
My name is Violet and I’m her maid. I wear dresses of rags and my black unkempt hair is always up in a messy bun. I was born crippled and I’m in a wheelchair. When I was twelve, my family of ten children couldn’t afford to take care of me anymore. My mother and father gave me to the royal family as “help” when Princess Pepper was thirteen. Even then, she put on a show and told the king and my family that she would “adopt me” as her sister. They all cooed at her so-called sweet, selfless words. My parents even got it in their minds that I was going to be a lady-in-waiting someday but as soon as they all were gone, she slapped me and sneered, saying, “You’re such a pathetic and ugly thing!” I’ve been subjected to her royal nastiness ever since then, for nine years. She haven’t broken my spirit though and never will.
She works me as a slave, commanding to do tasks that I can barely do and if I make a mistake, she smacks me until I’m bleeding profusely. I loath this wicked princess but no one would believe me if I told. I would just be hung. Besides, enduring her abuse makes me stronger than her. Adding to my disgust for her, she is now having a prince forced to marry her. Prince Andrew’s father and King Edward have signed a treaty recently. The kingdoms have battling for many years and both kings thought that if their children joined in marriage that it was easier for the kingdoms to come together as one.
Prince Andrew is the kindest man that I ever met but yet Princess Pepper always has other suitors behind his back. He tried to end the engagement once but when he told the king that he was leaving due to the princess‘ behavior, she cried out, “Daddy, Daddy, make him stay! I can’t live without him, I’ll die without him!” The king being controlled by her like a puppet, then told the prince that he couldn’t break the engagement or leave, that it would break the treaty between our kingdom and his and if he did try to leave, he would be killed. The princess’ adultery was of course overlooked and he was forced to stay.
During the months he has been kept here practically as a high-valued prisoner, Prince Andrew and I have become comrades. I can talk to him for hours upon hours about anything. I can trust him with my secrets and my life. I tell him my dreams and he tells his, we make each other laugh, and we look out for one another. He even patches up my wounds when I have one of her beatings. For the first time, I have a friend that understands. There’s one thing that he doesn’t know though. I’m falling in love with him. When he talks to me, I sometimes get lost in his handsome green eyes and his stunning smile and forget my troubles. When I’m with him, I feel like and he treats me like a human being. Not crippled, not a maid, but a real lady. The words ‘I love you’ have been on the tip of my tongue for quite some time now but I’ve been unable to tell him, for fear of rejection, until this evening. I have a strange, sudden feeling of courage. This evening, I plan to tell him somehow.
Princess Pepper is in the garden with her ladies-in-waiting and Andrew reading. The sun is about to set at any second, the sky becoming different shades of pinks. I also can see the garden, which looks like a palace of purple, from my corner of my eye, from the walk-on balcony and I long to be out there with Andrew but I’m now struggling to dust her bedroom, my arm muscles trembling as I try to reach the top surfaces. Then Andrew unexpectedly walks in. He startles me and I nearly drop the cloth but he catches it and begins to dust the surfaces for me.
“I thought that you were reading with m’lady and the ladies outside,” I say.
“I was,” he replies, “until the light outside got too dim. We were going to the library when she started to say how much loved me. I didn’t want to hear her lies so I told her that I needed rest before dinner and her poor ladies-in-waiting went with her. Those brave souls have to listen to her.”
I giggle then I ask him, “Do you love her in any way?” I’m making sure before I say the words.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he laughs, “We both know that she’s horrid. I do pity her though. She will never know what real love is.”
“You’re a good man,” I tell him, “You should have a good woman to love you.” He stares at me warmly for a moment but then looks away.
“No woman can love me now,” he says, almost sorrowfully.
I tug at his sleeve dotingly. He smiles, drops the cloth, and kneels down to my eye level. Holding his hand, I say boldly, “Andrew, I love you…so much…more than a friend. You have a gentle heart and when I’m with you, I feel safe…normal…a feeling that I haven’t had in a while. I might not be a princess or the prettiest creature of the land but I would do anything to be with you. I love you with all of my heart.”
At first, he gazes at me silently for a minute, his face being unreadable. Then, he suddenly kisses my lips hard. It’s my first romantic kiss ever and the room begins spinning. He says joyously, “I love you too my beautiful, beautiful Violet! Been in love with you since I met you. You‘re an amazing, gorgeous woman.” He kisses me again and this time I kiss back with all of my might.
“You know,” he jokes, “I'm a prince. I’m suppose to be confessing my love to you, not the other way around.”
“I won’t tell if you won‘t,” I chuckle, as he caresses me. Then we hear Princess Pepper approaching the hall. I pick back up the cloth but Andrew grabs the handles of my wheelchair and we zoom out of the room. She doesn’t even realize that we were there.
“We will escape this place someday,” I whisper, as we hide in my closet-of-a-room, “I promise.”
Now, it’s late at night and I’m back in her room. She had a quarrel with her father at dinner about not having the right wedding cake and to appease her, he gets the cake and lets her try on her wedding dress for the hundredth time. She is gazing in her mirror, spinning around her room, dancing on the balcony, as her ladies-in-waiting and I give her fake praise. The flowing, white dress is stunning but her wickedness takes away the beauty of it. It seems like hours since she put it. All I want to do is to be with Andrew right now. Finally, she dismisses her ladies-in-waiting to bed but I have to stay until she takes off her dress. I’m holding her crown for her.
She stands on the balcony, still wearing the dress and faces me. With a mocking smile, she says, “Oh Violet, it’s a shame that you will never this feeling.”
“What feeling m’lady?” I ask.
“The feeling of being beautiful like me and having a man like Andrew. Let’s face it, no man will want you,” she cackles.
My anger gets the best of me and my shaking hands drop her crown. She runs towards me furiously and about to smack me when rebellion consumes me. Using my wheelchair to ram into her shins, I push her with extreme force. She howls in pain and tumbles back onto the balcony. All of the years of abuse are giving the bravery for what I’m about to do. Before she can run, I come onto the balcony too and push her off of the edge. She screams in horror and with my heart pounding, I watch. With terror and shock in her eyes, she falls, falls, falls, falls, and falls…then CRACK, SNAP go her bones. I look down and I can her mangled body and her blood splattered everywhere but I also see a surprise. Underneath her dead body is King Edward. He is dead as well. It looks like their skulls had cracked against each other. I didn’t mean or want to kill the king.
“Did he even scream?” I ask aloud. Then the realization of what I’ve done hitting me, tears come to my eyes. “I-I-I k-k-killed them b-b-both,” I stutter.
“You freed us,” a voice says behind me. It’s Andrew and he kisses the top of my head. He has been standing behind the door, watching. “You freed us my love,” he says again.
Having him near me, I can shake off the fear and guilt for a moment and I wipe my eyes. I jump into action. Andrew and I come up with a quick plan.
“We need to escape before the guards come,” I say.
“My horse is still in the stables,” he says.
“Can you carry me to your horse?” I ask. We have to leave our possessions behind including my wheelchair and don’t ever look back.
“Yes I can.” he replies.
My name is Violet and I’m her maid. I wear dresses of rags and my black unkempt hair is always up in a messy bun. I was born crippled and I’m in a wheelchair. When I was twelve, my family of ten children couldn’t afford to take care of me anymore. My mother and father gave me to the royal family as “help” when Princess Pepper was thirteen. Even then, she put on a show and told the king and my family that she would “adopt me” as her sister. They all cooed at her so-called sweet, selfless words. My parents even got it in their minds that I was going to be a lady-in-waiting someday but as soon as they all were gone, she slapped me and sneered, saying, “You’re such a pathetic and ugly thing!” I’ve been subjected to her royal nastiness ever since then, for nine years. She haven’t broken my spirit though and never will.
She works me as a slave, commanding to do tasks that I can barely do and if I make a mistake, she smacks me until I’m bleeding profusely. I loath this wicked princess but no one would believe me if I told. I would just be hung. Besides, enduring her abuse makes me stronger than her. Adding to my disgust for her, she is now having a prince forced to marry her. Prince Andrew’s father and King Edward have signed a treaty recently. The kingdoms have battling for many years and both kings thought that if their children joined in marriage that it was easier for the kingdoms to come together as one.
Prince Andrew is the kindest man that I ever met but yet Princess Pepper always has other suitors behind his back. He tried to end the engagement once but when he told the king that he was leaving due to the princess‘ behavior, she cried out, “Daddy, Daddy, make him stay! I can’t live without him, I’ll die without him!” The king being controlled by her like a puppet, then told the prince that he couldn’t break the engagement or leave, that it would break the treaty between our kingdom and his and if he did try to leave, he would be killed. The princess’ adultery was of course overlooked and he was forced to stay.
During the months he has been kept here practically as a high-valued prisoner, Prince Andrew and I have become comrades. I can talk to him for hours upon hours about anything. I can trust him with my secrets and my life. I tell him my dreams and he tells his, we make each other laugh, and we look out for one another. He even patches up my wounds when I have one of her beatings. For the first time, I have a friend that understands. There’s one thing that he doesn’t know though. I’m falling in love with him. When he talks to me, I sometimes get lost in his handsome green eyes and his stunning smile and forget my troubles. When I’m with him, I feel like and he treats me like a human being. Not crippled, not a maid, but a real lady. The words ‘I love you’ have been on the tip of my tongue for quite some time now but I’ve been unable to tell him, for fear of rejection, until this evening. I have a strange, sudden feeling of courage. This evening, I plan to tell him somehow.
Princess Pepper is in the garden with her ladies-in-waiting and Andrew reading. The sun is about to set at any second, the sky becoming different shades of pinks. I also can see the garden, which looks like a palace of purple, from my corner of my eye, from the walk-on balcony and I long to be out there with Andrew but I’m now struggling to dust her bedroom, my arm muscles trembling as I try to reach the top surfaces. Then Andrew unexpectedly walks in. He startles me and I nearly drop the cloth but he catches it and begins to dust the surfaces for me.
“I thought that you were reading with m’lady and the ladies outside,” I say.
“I was,” he replies, “until the light outside got too dim. We were going to the library when she started to say how much loved me. I didn’t want to hear her lies so I told her that I needed rest before dinner and her poor ladies-in-waiting went with her. Those brave souls have to listen to her.”
I giggle then I ask him, “Do you love her in any way?” I’m making sure before I say the words.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he laughs, “We both know that she’s horrid. I do pity her though. She will never know what real love is.”
“You’re a good man,” I tell him, “You should have a good woman to love you.” He stares at me warmly for a moment but then looks away.
“No woman can love me now,” he says, almost sorrowfully.
I tug at his sleeve dotingly. He smiles, drops the cloth, and kneels down to my eye level. Holding his hand, I say boldly, “Andrew, I love you…so much…more than a friend. You have a gentle heart and when I’m with you, I feel safe…normal…a feeling that I haven’t had in a while. I might not be a princess or the prettiest creature of the land but I would do anything to be with you. I love you with all of my heart.”
At first, he gazes at me silently for a minute, his face being unreadable. Then, he suddenly kisses my lips hard. It’s my first romantic kiss ever and the room begins spinning. He says joyously, “I love you too my beautiful, beautiful Violet! Been in love with you since I met you. You‘re an amazing, gorgeous woman.” He kisses me again and this time I kiss back with all of my might.
“You know,” he jokes, “I'm a prince. I’m suppose to be confessing my love to you, not the other way around.”
“I won’t tell if you won‘t,” I chuckle, as he caresses me. Then we hear Princess Pepper approaching the hall. I pick back up the cloth but Andrew grabs the handles of my wheelchair and we zoom out of the room. She doesn’t even realize that we were there.
“We will escape this place someday,” I whisper, as we hide in my closet-of-a-room, “I promise.”
Now, it’s late at night and I’m back in her room. She had a quarrel with her father at dinner about not having the right wedding cake and to appease her, he gets the cake and lets her try on her wedding dress for the hundredth time. She is gazing in her mirror, spinning around her room, dancing on the balcony, as her ladies-in-waiting and I give her fake praise. The flowing, white dress is stunning but her wickedness takes away the beauty of it. It seems like hours since she put it. All I want to do is to be with Andrew right now. Finally, she dismisses her ladies-in-waiting to bed but I have to stay until she takes off her dress. I’m holding her crown for her.
She stands on the balcony, still wearing the dress and faces me. With a mocking smile, she says, “Oh Violet, it’s a shame that you will never this feeling.”
“What feeling m’lady?” I ask.
“The feeling of being beautiful like me and having a man like Andrew. Let’s face it, no man will want you,” she cackles.
My anger gets the best of me and my shaking hands drop her crown. She runs towards me furiously and about to smack me when rebellion consumes me. Using my wheelchair to ram into her shins, I push her with extreme force. She howls in pain and tumbles back onto the balcony. All of the years of abuse are giving the bravery for what I’m about to do. Before she can run, I come onto the balcony too and push her off of the edge. She screams in horror and with my heart pounding, I watch. With terror and shock in her eyes, she falls, falls, falls, falls, and falls…then CRACK, SNAP go her bones. I look down and I can her mangled body and her blood splattered everywhere but I also see a surprise. Underneath her dead body is King Edward. He is dead as well. It looks like their skulls had cracked against each other. I didn’t mean or want to kill the king.
“Did he even scream?” I ask aloud. Then the realization of what I’ve done hitting me, tears come to my eyes. “I-I-I k-k-killed them b-b-both,” I stutter.
“You freed us,” a voice says behind me. It’s Andrew and he kisses the top of my head. He has been standing behind the door, watching. “You freed us my love,” he says again.
Having him near me, I can shake off the fear and guilt for a moment and I wipe my eyes. I jump into action. Andrew and I come up with a quick plan.
“We need to escape before the guards come,” I say.
“My horse is still in the stables,” he says.
“Can you carry me to your horse?” I ask. We have to leave our possessions behind including my wheelchair and don’t ever look back.
“Yes I can.” he replies.
Then the warning bell begins to ring. Without another word, he swiftly picks up and cradling me in his arms, he bolts downstairs, bust through doors, and into the stables. The guards are chasing us now but both of us are too determined to leave to care. Andrew unties the horse one-handed while I’m in his arms. Before I know it, we are on the horse, breaking down the stable door and galloping out of the kingdom forever, disappearing into the dark night. Our future seems blurry and I am sorry about the king but I still feel free, I feel like a fighter. The princess with the heart of ice can’t manipulate us anymore. Her frozen heart will burn in Hell.
(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011
A romantic tale with a very dark end.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friendly Cat
Friendly Cat
I'm sitting in front of my bedroom window. The sky is gray and melancholy just like my mood. Nightmares had haunted me the night before; horrific nightmares of my friend being shot and killed in cold blood right in front of me. All I could do was scream over and over as I watched my friend die. Even though I knew that it was only a nightmare and that my friend was completely fine, it still bothered me. Now my baggy eyes, due to lack of sleep, are watching the outside. I see the trees slowly sway in the ghoulish sounding wind and I hear the birds chirping and fluttering about. I'm just sipping my iced, sweet coffee when I see a white and black cat walking across the wooden fence that separates my yard and my neighbors‘. This small cat stops mid-step, sits, and bends its head down, looking like it’s bowing to me. It’s as if to say, "Good morning Miss". I giggle. Then it continues walking. The silly moment with the cat makes me smile and forget the nightmares. That’s when the bright sun comes out, warming my face.
(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011
I was in a silly mood when I wrote this. Plus, I do see this cat most mornings. A horror story is coming soon, I promise.
Imaginary
Imaginary
Breaking up with him was like being a little girl and finding out that Peter Pan wasn’t real. For so long, I believed that the world was such a magical place, that we could fly. I memorized all of the fables of us that he fed to me. I believed that all we needed was faith, trust, and pixie dust until he spat reality at me. I came back down to Earth and now I’m so disappointed. I feel betrayed. I can finally see the heartrending truth in his eyes and his cynical thoughts that darkens a soul. The guy that I knew was just imaginary.
(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011.
Okay, you might be wondering why I wrote this. Well, my ex contacted me recently, telling me that he's moving out of state. Believe it or not, the message came as a shock and memories came flooding back for a second. I'm completely fine though. I just needed to vent one last time.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
April Update
What's up everyone??? How's it going? I haven't blogged in a while so I decided to post an update. Since last month, I've been taking online classes on OpenLearning.com . It's not for college credit, just to expand my horizons. I already took a psychology class and a writing class (Writing What You Know). I'm planning to take more classes. Also, I'm writing more short stories. They'll be posted soon. Well, that's it for now. I'll see you later!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
What Makes Serial Killers Tick? Monsters or Victims? By: Shirley Lynn Scott (Article From: TruTv.com)
Click here to read the TruTv article: http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/notorious/tick/victims_1.html
This article was very creepy but informative. The psychology in the article was very interesting. It explained what factors could drive someone to kill. I just read this out of curiosity. I write horror so I figured that I could learn the psychological states of some murderers. It was sort of like research.
This article was very creepy but informative. The psychology in the article was very interesting. It explained what factors could drive someone to kill. I just read this out of curiosity. I write horror so I figured that I could learn the psychological states of some murderers. It was sort of like research.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Random, Snowy Entry
I was watching the beautiful snow outside and I decided to post something. I think that snow is so pretty and calming. Everything is covered with white. It reminds me of Christmas. It also looks like an enchanted, snowy forest is outside of my bedroom window. I love it.
I found the video that is above on YouTube. I thought that it was so cool! It's a remix of Britney Spears' "Every time". Usually remixes suck but this one is good. I like the beat. It sort of gives the song a darker feel. The remix is by Ambient.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Hogan Surprises Idols & Steven Tyler's Surprise Gift!
American Idol's elimination shows sometimes have funny, cute surprises (I guess to break the tension) and on Thursday, they had a few surprises. First, they surprised Steven Tyler for his birthday and Stevie Wonder came out and sang. Then, when Idol constants James and Paul, who were wrestling fans, came on stage for their results, Hulk Hogan came out. He told them their results and fake punched Ryan Seacrest off the stage. James' face was just priceless. :)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The Last Love Letter
The Last Love Letter
Sitting on the porch on spring day, a young writer is looking at some pictures from a dance that was at her high school the night before. She didn’t go because she was dateless and she wanted to work on a story that she was writing. Her best friend Maxwell (nickname: Maximum) went to the dance with his new girlfriend and he was ecstatic to show the pictures. His girlfriend Rosie is beyond beautiful with golden hair, a perfect, scurvy body, and a precious, doll-like smile. She is also very caring and kind-hearted. In one of the pictures, he had an arm lovingly around her and his face was lit up with such happiness. The writer could tell that he was truly in love with the girl and all kinds of feelings hit the writer all at once. She just smiles warmly up at him and says, “That’s great.” But when she’s finally alone in her bedroom, she grabs a pen and paper and she begins to write what’s really on her heart.
Dear Maximum,
This is the last love letter to you. I have written many but you haven’t seen any of them. I have kept them in a box in the back of my closet. We have been friends since Junior year when we were partners for a writing project in English class but since last July when we spent a whole week by the lake, I’ve wanted more. I have kept my feelings for you a secret for a long time, fearing what you would say back. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I’ve always hoped that one day I would have enough courage to say ‘I love you’ but today it became official that you’re in love with someone else. Now, I just want one last time to write how much I’m in love with you before I give up my dreams of you, before I bury my romantic feelings underground and continue on just being your friend.
You always make me smile and laugh no matter what. Even when you don’t know that I’m upset, you always manage to say something silly or sweet and I forget all of my troubles. Never letting me put myself down, you make feel good about myself. You see my faults but you see them as things that make me beautiful and unique. You accept me for who I am. You also protect me and you won’t let anything or anyone hurt me.
You’re so amazing. You’re very smart (even if you don’t admit it), your adoring smile gives me butterflies in my stomach every time, and your dark green eyes are more alluring than you know. You don’t know how many times those eyes just made me want to jump in your arms and kiss you. In my eyes, you are an exact description of Prince Charming that all of those storytellers conveyed.
Even though a part of me is heartbroken and disappointed that you’ll never feel the same about me, another part of me is happy for you. You deserve a sweet girl like her. I’ll give you two nothing but encouragement, friendship, and support. I just want to know that I’ll always care with all of my heart. Now, I’ll end this slight obsession and let you go. You will never know. I’m very content just being your best friend…I promise. I love you so much Maximum.
---L
The writer then silently gets the red, heart-shaped box from her closet, kisses the folded letter, and puts it in the box with the others. She fights back tears, reminding herself that he’s happy now. Then, she puts the box back in the closet and shuts the door, feeling as though another chapter of her life has ended within minutes. That’s when her cell phone rings. She clears her throat, masking her sudden melancholy mood that she’s trying to ignore.
“Hello,” she says, sounding bubbly.
“Hey.” It’s Maximum with a smile in his voice.
“What’s up?” she asks.
Then, Maximum begins to tell a funny story about Rosie and gushes about her for hours. The young writer doesn’t mind it. She giggles, smiles. Despite the small heaviness in her heart, she loves hearing the joy of her best friend and wouldn’t do anything to change it.
(c)Lena Holdman, all rights reserved 2011
Ah young love, lol! Sometimes loving someone means letting them go.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
NSYNC Forever
Nsync forever baby! Last night, I had a dream that I went to a MTV Awards after party with them. They were singing acapella for the other guests and Justin was flirting with me. Just awesome!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
